VOTE for the biggest BNOC in the country: Round two
Did someone order a LEGEND?
Thousands of you voted in our first round of BNOC hall of famers, and we've already got another freshly baked batch of campus celebrities ready to go.
The top two from both heats will be put through to the grand final, when ultimate bragging rights will be bestowed upon one lucky individual.
Anyway, no more mucking about – here are your nominees:
Segev Gonen, Cambridge
In what is perhaps the most Cambridge manifestation of university fame, Segev here is known for being mouthy in offer-holders' group chats of all things. According to The Cambridge Tab, "most of the people" in the group had their names changed to match Sev's. Banter indeed.
Tom Stewart, Sussex
Tom is both a rower and a social sec, and if either of those aren't on your bucket list you're lying through your goddamn teeth. Tom was literally nominated for The Sussex Tab's BNOC competition because he's fit.
Apparently, he once fell off the stage in a club, which caused the girl he was with to split her head open. Being the gentleman that he is, he took her to hospital.
Rae Doyle, Birmingham
Rae told The Birmingham Tab: "Through the constant eating of Domino's and Roosters my tits have gone up a size."
Jess Thomas, Exeter
Jess describes herself as "the mother on a night out" and is constantly checking her team's kit bags to make sure they have everything they need. Should nice people be allowed to win BNOC of the year? Probably not.
Fliss Mayo, Liverpool
Football captain and DJ Fliss thanked "Dennis Bergkamp's pirouette goal vs Newcastle in 2002" when she found out she'd reached the final of her Liverpool heat, which is obvs quite bottom tier chat, but what can you do?
Her mother told her not to come home if she doesn't win, lest you think this vote isn't anything but deadly serious.
Ronaldo Castro-Patrick, Southampton
Southampton is a weird uni. The people there poo on plates, and sometimes in clubs. Case in point, this guy is famous pretty for identifying the "Lodge Road Sleeper", who is literally a guy who fell asleep in Lodge Road. The mind boggles.
William Phelps, Cambridge
According to The Cambridge Tab, William "made national press for hosting a BBQ," and one of his nominators described the CUCA Chairman as a "general Tory prick."
He told us: "I am pleased my hobby of questionable chat on a university-wide scale has finally been recognised. If this has taught me anything, it’s that only three things matter in life: Brexit, Beer, BNOCdom."
Zoë Dixon, Birmingham
As you can see, Zoe-with-an-accent is wearing a crown, because she actually won The Birmingham Tab's BNOC competition. She told us: "I'm very surprised to have won BNOC, but very grateful for all the support. It's been a mad one, and my mates can now look forward to me gloating for a year."
Riveting stuff, I'm sure you'll agree.
Yash Doshi, Nottingham
I have never seen anyone look so lost in front of a sign explicitly telling him where he is. Poor little lamb.
He's a library fiend by day, and Rock City die-hard by night, but it would probably be a turn up for the books if Yash won.
Jade Brewer, York
If you hadn't twigged it – Jade does cheerleading. She models a little on the side as well and is called "the fittest girl in maths" by many in York. Pow pow. Anyone who hasn't heard of her has apparently been living under a rock.
Robin Mills, Exeter
There's a lot to take in reading what Robin told The Exeter Tab. He said: "I’m HPP athlete, I always finish first, I am BNOC. I love Kopperberg Strawberry, big batty gals, and the friend zone. I was breastfed from my mother BNockers until I was 12, therefore destined to win."
Tohin Munshi, Cambridge
Tohin is a member the Cambridge University Conservative Association, so his reaction to his nomination was predictably mired in awful chat.
He achieved nationwide notoriety after a proposal encouraging more students to commemorate war veterans was rejected by the SU.
Joey Higham, Exeter
Look at this man. His Tory vibes would probably make some of the Cambridge Conservatives blush. Also he's deep-throating a green smoke signal, which has got to be somewhere near the top of the BNOC to do list.
He told The Exeter Tab he guilt trips into dancing with him by saying: "My mate's dog died."
Em Andress, Birmingham
If naturally occurring rainbow hair were possible, it probably would grow out of Em's head. Described as "effortlessly gay," this Trans Officer has absolutely no time for his haters.
Mark Matthews, York
Oh boy. Mark, like many an SU officer before him, has made a bit of a name for himself being hauled away by police at environment protests.
Asked for some sort of banterous quote to go with his nomination, he said: "Google Murray Bookchin."
Have a day off, Mark.
Jake Guira-Garnett, Lancaster
Asked what made him a worthy BNOC, Jake simply offered the following: "I'm still the only person to have successfully wrestled a badger."
You honestly can't say fairer than that can you?
Olly Goodwin, Southampton
Olly plays the sax, which is the fifth most popular music instrument. To be fair to him, given how rancid his fellow Soton nominees were, he should probably win.
Laura Bloomfield, Coventry
Laura managed to secure hundreds of nominations despite being on her placement year, which is pretty impressive.
Less impressive is her record on football tour, during which she pulled a rep only to later discover he had a criminal past. Yikes.
Nick Greaves, Exeter
International Relations student Nick didn't say much in his initial BNOC questioning. According to him, winning would mean he "didn’t get beaten up by Denzel for nothing."
Matthew Sarsah, Sussex
Matthew could probably make a case for BNOC with his sunglasses alone, to be honest. Apparently, it takes him an hour to leave the library because so many people want to talk to him. The solution to this? A self-imposed ban.
Bronwen Smith, Southampton
Bronwen has green hair and apparently "frequently gets dragged into conversations just walking around campus."
This isn't the wildest thing you'll see a Southampton student do, sure. But when you bare in mind the last girl from the uni to make headlines attacked a model with a stiletto, being famous for popularity and chattiness isn't that bad.
Paul Hardman, Birmingham
The excellently surnamed Paul claims he "accidentally" emailed his lecturer "a load of dank memes believing it to be my friend instead."
His friends say he's a "raging lightweight".
You've seen our second round of BNOCs – VOTE BELOW!