Every lame politician who’s admitted to doing drugs at uni
‘I had one or two spliffs but ABSOLUTELY hated it’
After Michael Gove admitted to taking coke 20 years ago, it seems like every politician is desperate to tell the world they had two spliffs as an undergrad.
While we all wait for an MP to just bloody well come out and say they smoke crack to get through every single constituency surgery, we're all wondering which politicians got on it at uni.
So here's every notable politician we could find who admitted to taking drugs at uni.
Boris Johnson: Coke and weed at Oxford
Boris Johnson just doesn't seem like the type, but confessed that smoking weed during his Oxford days was "jolly nice".
He also admitted snorting coke, although has since spent a lot of time trying to un-admit this, saying he sneezed it out and none of it went up his nose.
Which leaves the Tory party with a question to answer: Do they want a leader who lacks the basic competency to hoover a line of gear?
David Cameron: A "normal university experience" at Oxford
David Cameron's claims of a "normal university experience" are somewhat diminished by being a member of the Bullingdon Club and maybe fucking a pig.
But that was his answer to whether he did drugs at Oxford. A "normal university experience". It's a non-denial which leaves you guessing.
Another non-denial came in 2007 when reports emerged he narrowly dodged being booted out of Eton for smoking weed.
It's a fine line, hey.
Dominic Raab: Weed at Oxford
Hard Brexit hardman Dominic Raab wants to be Tory leader and he smoked weed at uni.
That's about all there is to say.
Jeremy Hunt: A weed smoothie whilst travelling
In what comes across as a frankly desperate attempt to be included in this list, Jeremy Hunt has admitted to drinking a cannabis lassi whilst backpacking.
Doctors hate him. Indian smoothie makers love him. If he can bridge the division between the two, he might find himself in Number 10.
Matt Hancock: Weed at Oxford
PM hopeful Matt Hancock loves parkour and has made an app called "Matt Hancock". Of course he dabbled.
Jeremy Hunt: I drank a cannabis lassi in India
Rory Stewart: I smoked crack in Iran
*sees how impressed everyone is*
Matt Hancock: I got chucked out of Boomtown for selling nos
— Tom Goulding (@TomGoulding) May 30, 2019
A source close to him told The Telegraph that Matt "tried cannabis a few times as a student but has not taken any illicit drugs since”.
Andrea Leadsom: Weed at Warwick
Leadership hopeful and Warwick grad Andrea Leadsom came out and said "I smoked weed at university and have never smoked it again since."
Playing her cards actually pretty well, Leadsom knows enough to say "smoked" not "took", and closed the matter off by saying "everyone is entitled to a private life before becoming an MP."
Today, she said: "I deeply regret it, I'm not proud of it at all."
Nick Clegg: Maybe weed
So Nick Clegg wants to legalise weed. But has he ever smoked it?
When The Tab asked him, he said: "I’m not going to go into that!"
"The moment you do that the whole thing becomes about politicians and what they’re doing." Fair point.
But still a classic non-denial.
Chukka Umunna: Weed as a student DJ
Chuka Umunna has the brazen confidence to name a political party basically after himself and then leave it. Yet he says he's done "nothing beyond marijuana".
As a DJ in the late 90s, centrist Umunna ran club nights in Brixton. He also went to Manchester Uni.
During this time, he says he "smoked soft drugs" but nothing stronger.
"That industry is rife with it," he said. "That was a part of the industry I found unattractive."
Nicola Sturgeon: Weed at Glasgow
“I experimented when I was a student, but it made me sick, so I didn’t use it again. It and I didn’t get on," Scottish Independence stalwart Nicola Sturgeon told The Sunday Times in 2007.
What a horror show the Tory leadership election is. Tax cuts for the richest, attacks on abortion rights, hypocrisy on drugs, continued Brexit delusion. True colours well and truly on show.
— Nicola Sturgeon (@NicolaSturgeon) June 10, 2019
She's against decriminalisation and said: "I think there is evidence that it leads to addiction and is a pathway into harder drugs.”
However, like most of the politicians on this list, Nicola amazingly stopped at weed.
Leanne Wood: Weed and "a few things" at the University of South Wales
Plaid Cymru leader Leanne Wood is one of the few to admit going beyond weed at uni. "When I was younger and a student I tried a few things," she told the BBC.
"I'd rather not go into the details of the personal side of things."
Esther McVey: Weed at Queen Mary
The hardest of all Brexiteers gunning for the Tory leadership, Esther McVey hasn't shied away from admitting she had a spliff at uni.
"I've tried blow, pot, marijuana. Like anybody else at university I've tried it," she told Piers Morgan.
James Cleverly: Weed at Thames Valley University (now the University of West London)
James Cleverly dropped out of the Tory leadership race to back Boris Johnson. Unlike Boris saying weed was "jolly nice", Cleverly had a "little dabble" but "doesn't recommend it."
With the regrets of somebody who watched one too many episodes of Rick and Morty, he told the BBC: "It’s a waste of money, waste of time and just not very good for your future prospects.”
Shorter headline for you. "James Cleverly was once 20". @emma_hobleyNQE
— James Cleverly MP (@JamesCleverly) November 1, 2015
In the same interview, he also admitted to watching porn and drinking until he was sick (not at the same time).
Harriet Harman: Weed at York
Harriet Harman is the longest continuously serving female MP. As a student activist at York, she also smoked cannabis the customary "once or twice".
Yvette Cooper: Weed at Oxford
New Labour throwback Yvette Cooper couldn't beat Jeremy Corbyn in a leadership contest, but she could beat the famously drug-free socialist in terms of joints smoked.
She admitted to smoking weed at uni "like a lot of students at that time", but says it's something she's left behind.
Why does this matter? She was the first serving minister to admit taking drugs.
Andy Burnham: Weed at Cambridge
The puns write themselves here: Andy "liked to" Burnham at uni. What did the Greater Manchester Mayor do with joints at uni? Burnham.
Anyway, in 2007, Andy Burnham slipped out the admission, through a spokesperson, that he had dabbled.
"The chief secretary said he had tried it one or two times at university but never since."