What to do with a girl’s butt when having sex with her: A step by step guide

Sex is great when you're comfortable enough to know what you're doing, but at times it can also be incredibly confusing. Like what do you do with a girl's breasts? Should sex be different if her chest is larger? Or how do you actually make her come? Another question you might be asking is, what do you do with a girl's butt during sex?

Well my friend, it's all about communication and consent. Anal or other acts involving the derrière aren't for everyone and there should be no pressure when it comes to this. There's dumb stigma and taboo surrounding this topic, but remember that it's super normal and it's completely up to you and your partner. But this advice is for people wanting to try or who are already doing it:

Always ask before sex whether spanking is allowed

Spanking can be very sexy but only if both parties involved are on board. If you haven’t cleared it beforehand, a surprise slap to the arse can be a bit threatening and ruin the vibe. Some girls just aren’t into it either – at the end of the day you are hitting them – so don’t think they’re prude if they say no.

And don’t presume this means you can smack as hard as you like if she’s up for it

Just because women are slapped viciously in porn, it doesn’t mean that’s how it should be in real life. Soothing off a giant red hand mark on your cheek can be really annoying. You’ll be able to gauge how hard she likes it from her reaction.

I’m sorry but, there will probably be a little bit of poo or faecal matter

Look, you’re putting your finger, penis or tongue in her asshole, the place where shit comes out her body, so unless she’s been for a colonic irrigation beforehand (unlikely) or one of you owns an enema kit. It’s not like there will be a full dump on your finger, tongue or dick, but there might be a bit of faecal matter. The point is don’t make this a big deal, and obviously wash whatever body part before putting it somewhere else.

When rimming, you can reach in front and play with her clit or finger as well

Pleasuring the front and back feels great, but only do this if you’ve got the rimming down, otherwise it might feel stop-start and not as pleasurable. If it’s a bit of a stretch to her other parts, get her to touch herself , or invest in some toys.

Treat how you lick the front to how you lick the back, building up the tension and going at different paces

You wouldn’t lurch straight in to a girls vagina slobbering away, so don’t do the same with the bumhole. With the vagina, start slow, kissing around the area, licking different parts and building up the tension until you get to the sweet spot. It’s the same behind, kiss, lick and gently bite on different areas of her bum, until you reach the centre. Go fast and slow to keep the tension high.

When she’s on top put the top bit of your finger in her bum, or however much she likes

If you usually rub the clit when the girl is on top, putting your finger in her bum instead can feel good. That way she can continue to ride you and even play with her clit whilst you go behind. It’s especially good to do it just before she comes. The anus is full of nerve endings…it’s like the clit of your arse!

Use lube

The muscles in the anus are much tighter than those in the vagina, meaning when you penetrate it feels way more sensitive and sometimes uncomfortable for people who haven’t had much butt action. Using lube makes the action much smoother, and will feel better for the girl. The anus does not self-lubricate, unlike the vagina, so don’t go in there dry.

Start anal sex off s-l-o-w-l-y

Everything is much tighter in the bum so you have to like…pry it open for it to feel good. Always start off using your fingers or even a small sex toy – but make sure it’s an anal sex toy because you don’t want something to be swallowed up there. Anal toys usually have a base to them. Definitely use lube, as previously stated. When she’s relaxed and the muscles are used to having something up there, guide yourself in super slowly so the muscle can acclimatise and expand. The biggest rule is USE LUBE. if at any point she finds it uncomfortable or painful, pull out.

And breeeeeathe

The muscles will close up even more if you’re feeling tense and stressed, so it’s important to breath and relax those bum muscles. If you can’t relax it’s all good, maybe tonight’s just not the night!!

Biting

Similar to slapping – a lil nibble can be really hot on your bum cheek, but make sure she’s happy for you to do that first before you start literally eating her.

For easy access, get on all fours

That way her cheeks can be spread and other parts of her can be reached.

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