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Just a list of things which aren’t a substitute for a personality

Loves dogs, gin enthusiast, pizza diet x

Do you like coffee and enjoy eating Greggs sausage rolls? Do you stop when there's a puppy on the train, say "false" like Dwight Schrute and have "enjoys The Office" in your Tinder bio? Have you ever said "I looooove cheese", watch Game of Thrones or used emojis in a text?

Well if you do you can fuck off, because according to angry people on the internet all these things make you soulless as you try and substitute them for a personality. Anything you claim to like or dislike – really normal things like watching television, having hobbies or drinking wine – is all a massive lie and a way to fool everyone into thinking you're interesting. Oh you like dogs? So does everyone you moron.

If you enjoy any of the following normal, pleasurable things in life, the internet wants you to keep it to yourself instead of using it as a substitute for a personality:


Watching The Office UK/US


Drinking gin

Shaving your head

And bleaching it


Game of Thrones

Going to the gym

Having emotions x


And loudly hating pineapple pizza

Hating Love Island

Eating cheese

Wearing any kind of hat

Smoking weed

Or taking any drugs

Being vegan

Letting everyone know you DON'T like football


Listening to Drake, and thinking it's really deep

Enjoying travelling


Drinking wine

Strong views on the Oxford Comma


Craft beer


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