Just a list of things which aren’t a substitute for a personality
Loves dogs, gin enthusiast, pizza diet x
Do you like coffee and enjoy eating Greggs sausage rolls? Do you stop when there's a puppy on the train, say "false" like Dwight Schrute and have "enjoys The Office" in your Tinder bio? Have you ever said "I looooove cheese", watch Game of Thrones or used emojis in a text?
Well if you do you can fuck off, because according to angry people on the internet all these things make you soulless as you try and substitute them for a personality. Anything you claim to like or dislike – really normal things like watching television, having hobbies or drinking wine – is all a massive lie and a way to fool everyone into thinking you're interesting. Oh you like dogs? So does everyone you moron.
If you enjoy any of the following normal, pleasurable things in life, the internet wants you to keep it to yourself instead of using it as a substitute for a personality:
Can we leave “liking Greggs as a substitute for having a personality” in 2018 please
— Patrick Swayne (@pswayne7) January 2, 2019
Watching The Office UK/US
some men need to learn that liking the office isn't a substitute for a personality
— Chilly Antonia (@the_antonian) January 5, 2019
Your Dunder-Mifflin shirt isn't a substitute for a personality.
— Matt Owens (@FortuneMustache) January 8, 2019
twitter was much more fun before people made worshipping the office into a substitute for a personality
— kyle (@KyLO_mang) January 9, 2019
I love dogs but when did they become a substitute for someone’s entire personality? #TheBachelor
— Krystal Pearson (@tinyypearson) January 8, 2019
A lot of people substitute "liking dogs" for "having a personality"
— Dennis Roberts (@dennyroberts) January 8, 2019
listen i love gin as much as the next white girl but why do some people use gin as a substitute for a personality
— minge pleaser (@slimelia) November 30, 2018
Shaving your head
Think some lads need to realise that shaving their head and having piercings is not a substitute for having an actual personality
— alex ♉♓♌ (@tough_boi) November 1, 2018
And bleaching it
me: “lmao bleached hair is not a substitute for personality”
me: bleaches hair to substitute having an personality
— spen (@encreps) November 4, 2018
2019 aka the year i stop using 🤟🏻 as a substitute for a personality
— ren🌪 (@renrobertsonn) January 3, 2019
the blue butterfly emoji is not a substitute for a personality
— ©® (@CarlsRichardson) January 8, 2019
Game of Thrones
do men who watch got know hating sansa isn’t a substitute for a personality
— ada (@songofiIion) January 10, 2019
loving GoT is not a substitute for having a personality, guys
— thotiana (@sparklekwandi) January 5, 2019
Going to the gym
Running 5ks is not a substitute for having a personality
— mr. opinion, PhD (@willtavlin) January 5, 2019
Just a friendly reminder that contantly being in the gym isn’t a substitute for having a personality
— Sophuckingoode (@SophieRachael95) January 7, 2019
Having emotions x
angry-reacting every post ever isn't a substitute for a personality
— Rosa (@kcallatasor) January 9, 2019
i wish people on the internet would realize that liking pizza isn't a substitute for personality
— Michael Schirtzer (@MicSchirtzer) March 25, 2016
And loudly hating pineapple pizza
An opinion about pineapple on pizza is no substitute for a personality.
— ND (@ExilePolitics) January 3, 2019
Hating Love Island
hating on love island isn't a substitute for a personality
— ali in pyjamas (@adotstan) June 5, 2018
when will i finally realise that eating cheese isn’t a substitute for a personality
— :~) (@mooooorey) January 4, 2019
Eating 4 string cheeses in a row doesn’t substitute for a personality
— OG Nic Cage Queen (@atha_sination) January 8, 2019
Wearing any kind of hat
Me to me: wearing berets is not a substitute for a personality
— piss man (@gingersnaps93) October 19, 2018
Hey bro that Fedora isn't a substitute for a personality.
— gabriel pacheco (@gabe_pacheco) May 6, 2013
arhe pro tip: being petty and smoking weed isn't a viable substitute for your vapid personality
— Arhe Vidar (@sylvan_phantom) January 9, 2019
Haha yeah bro I’m like a real stoner let me tell you some trivia about weed to substitute for a real personality
— very angry stage rat (@Baileyonstage) January 11, 2019
Or taking any drugs
Doing drugs is not a substitute for a personality.
— ʑŽℨ𝖍∴҉yЛ™️ (@GRITCULT) December 7, 2018
I cannot stand when people centre everything around themselves and their veganism.
Being a vegan isn’t a substitute for a personality.
— ChanYé (@ChantayyJayy) January 7, 2019
Letting everyone know you DON'T like football
Vocally not liking football is not a substitute for a personality.
— Darren Richman (@darrenrichman) July 5, 2018
so bored of boys thinking that a beard is an acceptable substitute for a personality 😴
— twenty bi-teen (@kxthleen) January 20, 2014
Listening to Drake, and thinking it's really deep
liking drake is not a substitute for a personality
— glenda (@frameofbones) August 28, 2018
Ok guys it’s time we as a culture came forward and had a discussion about this. “I like food and like to travel” is not an acceptable substitute for a personality.
— tetsuo shima (@mar_l0ne) February 17, 2018
Loving to travel is not a substitute for a personality
— R❄️BBIE (@avipsycho) August 28, 2018
knowing about star signs and ‘birth charts’ isn’t a substitute for a personality x
— katie jasmine (@kj_christie) August 25, 2018
Beverages are not a substitute for personality. You're not a wine enthusiast
— Andrew Mengel (@Andrew_Mengel) July 7, 2015
Strong views on the Oxford Comma
Passion for the Oxford comma isn't a substitute for a personality.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) March 2, 2017
She's a classic example of someone who relies on yoga as a substitute for a personality. #firstdates
— MostDeaf (@SnoozeActive) November 19, 2015
Say it with me y’all! 🗣 LIKING CRAFT BEER IS NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR A PERSONALITY ! !
— Ellen (@ellentrashtelis) September 16, 2018
Cannot deal with any more booze chat in dating profiles. Liking gin/whiskey/craft beer is not a substitute for a personality
— Cass (@ceebrie) October 15, 2018
Why do some boys think a nose ring is a substitute for a personality
— 🥰 rosie 🥰 (@basicheaux_) August 13, 2018