OH THE HUMANITY
Wetherspoons will stop serving Jagermeister in their pubs, along with champagne and French brandies, as they begin replacing European alcohol with UK drinks.
Starting from September 26th, they will increase their range of drinks from the UK, US and Australia to replace the European brands across their 880 pubs to reduce post-Brexit price increases.
But don't worry, our beloved Swedish Kopparberg managed to keep it's place on the menu. Kopparberg will continue producing cider in post-Brexit Britain because we literally couldn't survive without it, I'm assuming.
The champagne, which we can't afford anyway, will be replaced by sparkling wines from the UK and Australia, such as Denbies Sparkling Whitedowns Brut and Hardys Sparkling Pinot Chardonnay.
As for beer, Spoons will be serving wheat beers from the UK and US, including Blue Moon Belgian White, Thornbridge Versa Weisse Beer and SA Brains Atlantic White.
Basically, Spoons is being dragged back to the dark ages when you actually had to travel to experience different types of alcohol. Say goodbye to your round of Jagerbombs at 11pm before you hit the club because it's time to learn about English alcohol.
Tim Martin, the founder of Spoons, is a very strong Brexit supporter and had a prominent role in the campaign for Britain to leave the EU. Have you seen his beer mat campaign?
Martin even told Theresa May to remove import taxes on non-EU products to "immediately reduce prices in pubs and shops across the country."
As for reducing Spoons prices, Martin said: "This is a significant move by us and highlights our commitment to offering an excellent range of UK and world products, with the emphasis on quality and value for the two million customers who visit our pubs each week."
Spoons conducted blind taste tests to see if their non-EU alcohol was just as tasty. Surprisingly, they found the new products were more popular than their original European ones.
Spoons have said they intend to "honour existing contracts with EU suppliers, some of which have several years to run." So it looks like we'll still be able to quaff a chalice of Stella Artois for a while yet.