Apparently ‘coffee’ is a turn on these days
When it comes to writing the perfect dating bio, it's nearly impossible to strike the balance between confessing your entire relationship history and boring the guy before you have even matched. It's a matter of describing yourself as cute, yet incredibly witty and maybe even a little cheeky, with a side of "I'm too good for you, but let's go on a date anyway."
To help us all out, dating app Badoo decided to investigate the most popular user bios and the buzzwords they frequently include. Badoo revealed the top 10 words users swipe for, both in guys and girls, and here's what they found.
Girls are just looking for a tall gym boy, who drives and likes dogs while still being potential boyfriend material. While guys aren't that fussy – they just want a girl to take on date, have a couple beers with and fall in love.
So I decided to carry out my own research and download Badoo. Turns out the "About Me" section bares more resemblance to a visa application form than you might expect. The questions range from my living situation, weight, smoking and drinking status to whether I'm considering kids. I haven't even started swiping yet, chill out Badoo.
Before I embark on my investigation, I received some advice from, Badoo dating expert, Claire Scott. To help initiate good chat, Claire advises to include meaningful details, like your "favourite pasta dish" because obviously that's information very close to the heart and a definite deal breaker.
To begin my new adventure, I created a profile and used almost every buzzword they told me guys look out for. This bio literally makes me want to vom but unfortunately, it worked. After spending half my life completing an intensive interview on whether I was worthy of a boyfriend, I'm definitely not, I had 97 swipes in under five minutes.
The top three words girls swipe for are: 6", family and dogs
The app encourages users to include your height, weight and general appearance to "prevent awkwardness later on." Essentially guys, if you are under 6" don't even provide your height because you don't stand a chance.
We like a taller guy and it's not because we want to wear heels, we replaced our stilettos with white Adidas Superstars long ago. We just like a lot of inches, in every way, and we certainly don't have to justify it.
However, if you do decide to include your shorter height, I guess you're a risk taker and that's kinda sexy.
So what happens when he's "dog obssessed", wants kids and is a wild one by including his measurements – do we swipe, and hope his hair makes up the extra inch, or not?
Guys apparently swipe for love, drinking and music because they're way better people
They just want a girl who's looking for love, likes a good cocktail and has decent taste in music. Which is all very controversial, as most girls are under the impression that every guy is a fuckboy using dating apps for casual sex.
This is also so bloody British – clearly they just want a girl they can get pissed with on bank holiday while watching the match. Yet, girls are prepared to drop a guy if he's an inch under six foot because we are horrendously shallow individuals.
Apart from this girl, who is an absolute sweetheart but where is the sex appeal, the cheeky comments and the dirty emojis? Do guys like this sort of innocence?
Girls, we're now approaching gold digger status with the next buzzwords: dinner, beard and travel
After letting go of our heightist ways, we are now looking for a guy who is hairy, just got back from his gap yah and willing to cook us a gourmet meal.
He might travel but his ego is so big, he can't even deal with a confident girl and more importantly, he's forgotten the vital information of his favourite pasta dish. Evidently, not a deep individual.
Boys you're up next, and this time you're after a gym loving, coffee drinking girl, who LOLs at your jokes
Who doesn't love the laughing emoji? It shows a sense of humour on the app where everyone tears you down.
This gal is funny and a contortionist – that's basically like going to the gym, right? But "coffee" as an interest is clearly just an indicator that you are really fucking boring.
Girls, turns out your standards have dropped to literally any gym boy with a car who's interested in a relationship
We changed our tune towards the end of the list because after exclusively swiping for cute puppies and tall men, now all we want is a guy who drives.
He might be short and unable to spell correctly but he plays sports and even has a roommate we can shag if he turns out to be a let down. We'll take that.
Standards have dropped all round, because now the boys just want a girl capable of smiling and eating food
You are not fussy lads, I'll give you that. If you have reached the point of basic human behaviours being attractive in a bio, then Badoo must have really limited options. I mean, there's only 390 million of them on the app.
Actually, maybe a girl who smiles and eats food is difficult to find after all. Unless, "dick" is also one of your buzzwords?
According to the list, I think not.