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How to make a girl come: The ultimate guide

If you think you're making her come, you're probably not

Knowing how to make a girl come is a skill as important as knowing how to breathe or how to tie shoe laces. If you don’t make her come during sex – and I mean actually come, not her faking it – then to be quite honest you have failed her.

So if you don’t know what you’re doing it’s no problem, because this guide on how to make a girl come will make you the master of the clit by the end of it. Plus, there’s nothing more attractive than knowing the guy you’re sleeping with knows how to make a girl come, so educating yourself is automatically making you hotter.

Read on, useless boys:

THE KISSING

START SLOW

Don’t leap straight in with big ol’ munchy kisses. If you want to turn a girl on enough to make her come later on, you’ve got to be ready for the gradual build. Start with little kisses and build up to longer, more intense ones. If you’re unsure, let her take the lead and when she introduces the tongue, you know she’s ready for thing to go up a notch.

KISSES AREN’T JUST FOR THE MOUTH

Kiss her all over. Start at the neck, stop off in booby town (and stay there for a good minute), then shimmy on down to the tummy and you know where’s next. Also read: the going down section to follow.

KISS FOR QUITE A WHILE BEFORE FINGERING OR LICKING OUT

You need to get your girl excited about the sex to come. Kissing with tongues is hot and will get her wet if you do it for long enough to build up the tension.

KISS THE NECK

I’m almost convinced the neck and clit are connected, because as soon as a guy gently kisses or licks your neck, it’s basically an orgasm. When kissing her lips, run your fingers down her neck, and when going down on her, stop at the neck and chill there for a bit, it’ll send her wild.

THE TOUCHING

THROAT GRABS

This one needs asking about first, because it’s not for everyone. And don’t fear, you don’t have to choke. But a little grip around the throat can be just what everyone needs to get things going and it sets the mood for a sexy time later in. Try stroking her neck or grabbing the sides of her throat while fingering her for ultimate sensuality.

BUM GRABBING

Fun when you’re really getting into the kissing, it screams we’re gonna have sex and it’s gonna be good!!!!

RUNNING YOUR HANDS UP AND DOWN OUR BACK

Do this relatively slow, and put pressure at times like you’re really holding us – it’s hot.

PUT YOUR HANDS THROUGH OUR HAIR

It just feels so good.

DON’T GO STRAIGHT IN WHEN FINGERING OR RUBBING THE CLIT

Instead tease her by running your fingers along her thigh, around her underwear and super close to the clit. Make her basically beg for you to touch her.

BOOBS

These can’t be forgotten. Don’t grab them like you’re honking a horn, but gently play with them. Boobs should be played with at all times – when kissing, fingering, going down, during sex – they’re a big turn on.

NIPPLES

Guys playing with nipples is a major turn on. The best thing to do with nipples is suck them, or bite them very gently. They’re sensitive, so don’t suck on them like you would a lollipop. If you’re not sucking them gently twist them.

FINGERING

USE TWO FINGERS

One isn’t enough and more than two is down to personal preference.

DON’T JAB YOUR FINGERS UP US AS HIGH AS YOU CAN

The aim here isn’t to get your whole arm in, plus it just doesn’t feel good. It’s better to get into a rhythm and putting fingers at different depths.

GO AT DIFFERENT SPEEDS

Slow fingering can feel really good, and is a quick way to make a girl wet. Going at 100mph from the offset is either gonna hurt or just not feel good.

FIND THE CLIT AND STAY THERE UNTIL SHE COMES

A lot of girls won’t orgasm from penetration, so it’s important to find the clit and make your girl come.

RUB THE CLIT IN CIRCULAR MOTIONS

Start off gentle then get gradually faster. The clit is all about build up, and it’ll take a girl around 20 minutes to climax, so get comfy!!

GO BETWEEN THE CLIT AND FINGERING

It’s good to mix things up. If she’s enjoying her clit being rubbed, put two fingers in for a bit then go back up. You’re fingers will be wet so it’ll feel really good for her.

USE SEX TOYS

Vibrator time is sexy time. Most girls can’t come from basic missionary, but while you’re thrusting in and out vibrators are a great way to make sure she’s getting her clit stimulated if your hands are busy elsewhere.

USE LUBE

So silky smooth, put it on her clit and your fingers. It’ll make her come in record time.

GOING DOWN

BE GENEROUS

Listen, boys. We’ve had our heads rammed into your sweaty nutsack for 15 mins and we deserve a little reciprocation. That’s what Aretha Franklin wanted when she wrote R.E.S.P.E.C.T. Most girls require upwards of 20 mins of clit stimulation to come. Be generous and keep down there until she’s there too.

USE YOUR FINGERS AT THE SAME TIME AS LICKING THE CLIT

Keep mixing it up and don’t be afraid to use your fingers. One great mix is to apply a little pressure with your tongue on her clit while using your fingers to penetrate and stroke. Nice. Very nice.

TONGUE FUCKING

Literally shove your tongue in the hole.

DON’T LICK LIKE A DOG

Our vagina isn’t like a plate of food ready to be licked up – slobbery licking with no purpose does not feel good.

GO AT DIFFERENT SPEEDS

Licking a girl out really slowly, stimulating everything bit by bit feels great. This isn’t a race, so take your time. Listen out for how she’s responding to your licking, if she’s deep breathing she’s enjoying what you’re doing.

BE SOFT ON THE PRESSURE TO BEGIN WITH

The clit is super sensitive so it actually can hurt if you apply hard pressure to start with.

LICK ALL AREAS OF THE VAGINA

You can kiss round the edges, fully lick from the bottom to the clit like you’re licking a plate, focus on the clit or tongue fuck – the point is make sure you’re covering all basis and making everything wet inside and out.

THE SEX

ALWAYS PLAY WITH THE CLIT, EVEN DURING SEX

Just because you’ve moved on to actually sticking your dick in does not mean this magnet of pleasure should be rejected. It feels insane for a girl to have her clit played with whilst having sex, so do positions which give you access.

OR ENCOURAGE HER TO PLAY WITH HER CLIT DURING SEX

If you think she would be keen – ask her. If you’re into it it can be super hot for both people, plus the girl will definitely come if it’s her in charge.

DOGGY AND COWGIRL WILL PROBABLY FEEL BEST FOR HER

Both give deep penetration, so she’s more likely to come from her G-spot or from her clit rubbing against your skin or hands if you’re being a top bloke.

BRING TOYS INTO THE MIX FOR A BIT OF FUN

Apply a vibrator to her clit whilst having sex – you’ll also feel the vibrations, which will feel good for both.

DON’T EVER ASK “ARE YOU CLOSE YET” AT ANY POINT FROM KISSING TO HAVING SEX

You’ll ruin the vibe and she’ll feel pressured to finish, and probably won’t end up coming.

Related stories recommended by this writer:

1) How to actually kiss a girl, by girls who are done with washing machine-tongued boys

2) Boys, this is how you should behave while getting a blow job, by girls

3) What girls actually want to hear during sex, by girls