They’ll do anything for the money and tbh same
It was an anti-climatic end to Love Island 2018, with Jack and Dani having to decide whether to steal or share the £50,000 prize, when in truth this £50,000 is a drop in the ocean compared to the other money they'll make outside of the villa.
The burning question is which islander has stooped the lowest so far in terms of selling anything and everything as they desperately cling on to their new found, and eventually fleeting, fame? We've done some digging and found a selection of the most tragic. Enjoy.
Idris Virgo – A car and van hire company
Price per Insta post – £261.65
Most Islanders will be teaming up with protein shake companies or high street fashion brands to make their post-villa cash, but not Idris.
What has Idris agreed to try and push to his 58,000 followers? A car and van hire company based in Birmingham and Wembley!
Adam Collard – Thorpe Park
Price per Insta post – £4.4k
I'm vaguely aware there's some sort of Love Island thing currently going on at Thorpe Park, a few of the ex-Islanders seem to have been spending time there, but no-one I've spoken to can actually explain exactly what it is.
It seems to be some sort of meet and greet thing, like a big ol' human zoo. Fans turn up to watch Adam frolicking about in the pool, they chuck pieces of bread at him for sustenance and in return Adam says "I'd be lying if I didn't say that was a very delicious morsel of bread." The people continue to turn up and throw bread at Adam, it has zero affect on his six pack.
Rosie Williams – a meal replacement shake that apparently tastes like cake mixture
Price per Insta post – £3,000
Meal replacement and supplement shakes are standard stuff for sponsored Instagram posts. Rosie has taken it a step further, however, and has decided the best way to try and ship vegan powder to the masses is to pose outside on her garden furniture and describe what a pleasure it is to eat cake mixture for breakfast. Yum indeed!
A hotel in Mallorca
If you read this Instagram post without knowing who's account it came from, you'd assume it would be someone like Adele, or Megan Markle, or the Dalai Lama, or the pope.
But no, it's Rosie from Love Island 2018! Giving away her precious time to hordes of adoring fans. Stooping down to great 'them', the 'people', all at the behest of a hotel in Mallorca. Global warming can't come soon enough I say!
Kieran (the bad haircut one) – Health cafés
Price per Insta post – £323.54
Judging by the intimidating walk at the start of the video below, you'd assume Kieran had finally tracked down the barber who'd given him the deadest trim in the history of British reality television.
But no, he's visiting a health café, crying into some protein pancakes thinking about where it all went wrong (again, it was the haircut).
Niall – Harry Potter world
Price per Insta post – £3.1k
Yeah, Niall was one of the best Islanders. Honest, a good laugh and just completely himself during his time in the villa, and speaking so openly about his mental health when he left the show, which will no doubt do a lot of good.
But this does not mean we have to put up with all this Harry Potter BS. We get it, you like Harry Potter, we like Harry Potter, everyone likes Harry Potter. Liking Harry Potter is not a component part of a personality, even if you get a tattoo of a wand on your forearm.
Fair enough, I guess, exploiting your 'interests' to get Instagram cheques from Warner Bros and JK Rowling, but I pray Niall donated the fee to charity after using the frankly bilious #chamberofgainz and #hufflebuff in the post.
Kendall Rae Knight – William Hill
Price per Insta post – £3.4k
Name a more iconic duo than…Kendall Rae Knight and high street bookies William Hill!
Kendall is known to enjoy a gamble after ditching Niall for Adam way back at the start of the show, until she got ditched by Adam for Rosie…and the list goes on and on.
Eyal Booker – Cadbury's Chocolate
Price per Insta post – £3.6k
What's more natural than leaning topless against a brick wall, abs glistening, and tucking into a big bar of Cadbury's?
Even if we forgive Eyal for using 'tbh' TWICE in one sentence, there is no way that he has a favourite chocolate bar, as he has declared in the post below. People who have a favourite chocolate bar do not have abs like that. I am living proof of this.
Alex Miller – DJing in Newcastle with TWO YouTubers!!
Price per Insta post – £832.64
While many of the Islanders will be setting off to a variety of regional hometown clubs for appearances and meet and greets, this one is particularly special.
Alex Miller (the glasses one who was on the show for about ten minutes) will not only be doing a meet and greet but also DJing at the o2 Academy in Newcastle with two YouTubers.
Take a minute to process all of that information and then lean your head back and laugh and laugh and laugh. This is the state of society in 2018, if you don't laugh you'll cry. My main question is was he a cheaper booking without his trademark specs?
Zara – Gourmet Burger Kitchen
Price per Insta post – £3.4k
Honestly, I just want to know what GBK paid for this post. Is it a four figure deal or does Zara just walk into GBK randomly and say "look, if you give me a free lunch I'll post about you lot on my Insta".
Frankie Foster – Very manly watches
Price per Insta post – £2k
Oh, what's this? What's this thing on my wrist connected to my hand that is holding my neck in a very casual, carefree manner? It's a watch. A very manly watch. A very manly watch from a brand called Lord Timepieces. Why have a watch when you can have a timepiece. Better than that, the lord of ALL timepieces. Lord Timepieces slogan is "Dream big. Set goals. Take action.", which I think is a roundabout way of telling you to buy a watch – sorry, timepiece?
Charlie Frederick – old timey-wimey suits
Price per Insta post – £1.3k
Charlie Frederick, a man visibly confused by a buttoned jacket, who may never have actually worn a suit before in his life, is now flogging them through Instagram. Don't let anyone tell you what you can and can't do. Dream big, learn how to get dressed all by yourself, take the world by storm.
Hayley Hughes – Online dating app Badoo
Price per Insta post – £2.1k
Long after humanity has wiped itself from this Earth, aliens will discover our planet and try to piece together what we were like as a species. They may come across this video and think this is an example of human beings smiling, this would be incorrect.
Secretly, Hayley Hughes feels trapped, she would rather be anywhere else. Secretly, Hayley Hughes is too good for that life. Secretly, Hayley Hughes has the answer of how to solve Brexit but no-one's ever bothered to actually ask her.