59 reasons why Northern students will always be better than Southern students
Northerners always know a good takeaway
When you go to university, you are faced for the first time with people who are from a different place. You may end up in halls with a real mix of Northerners and Southerners, maybe even someone from the Midlands.
So the debate ensues, who is better? Northerners or Southerners? Where even is the North? What do you mean you've never had a Greggs before??
If these questions have cropped up in your flat over the last term, help is at hand. We are here to clean up these issues. So next time you get asked, here are 59 reasons why Northern students really are better than Southern students.
1. Northern girls always have loads of make-up they can lend you
Can you think of a single Northern girl that has shit eyebrows or a disappointing contour? No. They are always amazing at make-up and will help you get their look.
2. They know how to make a proper cup of tea
Don't ever argue with them over this.
3. They can withstand the cold weather and don’t need to take a jacket out
Wearing a jacket is a sign of weakness. Why would you waste your time on a night out queueing for the cloakroom, and your money which could be spent on drinks.
4. They’ll drink anyone under the table
Seriously, they can down a whole bottle of Echo Falls, without batting an eyelid.
5. And they are the first ones to suggest suggest going to the pub for a cheeky few
Who could resist a tempting "pub anyone?" in a Northern accent?
6. Which inevitably ends up as a full-blown night out
Spontaneous nights out are always the best, even if you have uni at 9am.
7. All the best people are from the North
Peter Kay, Charlotte Crosby, Ant and Dec, Cheryl Cole, Sean Bean, Steve Coogan, need I say more?
8. They’re more savvy, using hip flasks because they refuse to pay £5 for a pint
They will never compromise their bank account, nor the amount of fun they're going to have. Northerners will always be able to find the cheapest way to get pissed and have a good time.
9. They don’t get awkward at someone saying hello or even making eye contact with them
It's completely normal to talk to strangers up North, their people skills are just so much better.
10. They know how to make the best gravy
Don't even mention that weird watery shit you get served down South.
Only true Northerners will appreciate a pie smothered in gravy 🤤 pic.twitter.com/1uzD3E3zOy
— Holland's (@HollandsPies) November 21, 2017
The Northerners fought back with indignation after Holland's Pies tweeted this absolute mess.
11. They’re not fussy eaters, if it’s drowned in gravy – it’s good to eat
AS LONG AS IT'S AMAZINGLY THICK GRAVY.
12. And the best roast dinners
With extra yorkshires and extra extra gravy.
13. They’re always up for going to Greggs
And they always know where the closest one will be, even at a Southern uni.
14. And they wouldn’t be seen dead in a Pret
Why the hell would anyone spend £4 on a sandwich when you could just have a sausage roll from Greggs?
15. No matter the weather or how shit they’re feeling, they will always come for a night out
Especially if one of their mates is feeling shit and they need to be cheered up.
16. They have the best pet names for everyone
"Y'alright duck", "Hiya love", "Goodnight chicken", etc.
17. They’ll be able to find the best chippy/kebab/takeaway in your uni town by the end of Freshers’ Week
And this will be your loyal takeaway spot for the rest of your time at uni because you always trust the judgement of a Northerner.
18. They know that chips go with EVERYTHING
Curry? Chips. Sausage? Chips. Kebab? Chips. Bolognese? Chips.
19. On that note, they are the masters of the half and half with a curry
What is this half and half? I hear you ask. Two different curries? No. Two different carbs. One curry, half chips and half rice. Bellissimo!
20. Northerners know the actual names for the meals at different times of day
Dinner is obviously in the middle of the day and tea is in the evening.
21. They have the best graffiti up North
— Anthony Parkes (@Exponent69) December 7, 2017
22. They all went to Leeds fest instead of Reading in their teens
It's a better festival and everyone secretly knows it.
23. There’s such a diversity in their accents, while all Southerners sound the same because they all talk through their nose
Where you're from in the North means everything and you can hear it in their voices. It's so much more of an identity than being from the South, if people guess where they're from it's always something shit like Kent or Guilford.
24. Their Northern accent actually gets stronger at uni to defend against Southern influence
When Southerners can't understand what you're saying it's just fuel for your fire.
25. Northern girls always make friends with other girls in club toilets
I'm pretty sure everyone has about 10 random Northern girls on Snapchat that they met on a night out two years ago.
26. They’re proud of where they come from
Not just being from the North but the specific part of the North. People from Manchester and people from Leeds will argue for hours about which is better. But you know that as soon as a Southerner joins in, all Northerners will join forces to protect their homeland together.
27. BBC Look North is by far the best post-news show
FINALLY some people on the telly with an accent I can get behind.
28. They will provide a sense of unity in club queues with chants: “YORKSHIRE, YORKSHIRE, YORKSHIRE”
No one will ever be able to control the force of a group of Northern lads chanting. But if you can't beat them, join them.
29. They can get their point across quicker because they drop out all the surplus letters, “me sen”, “ey up”, “av a li-er”
Honestly it's just a real time saver.
30. Having an array of vocabulary for an alleyway
Calling it a ginnel or a jitty is guaranteed to confuse any Southern student.
31. The coolest of the Game of Thrones characters are from the North (but not north of the wall)
Ned Stark, Jon Snow, Ygritte. If a character has a Northern accent you know they're going to bring more to the show.
32. They say thank you to bus drivers
They understand that bus drivers are hard working humans who deserve to be treated as such.
33. Their drinks are stronger (i.e. trebles in Newcastle)
This means they are used to drinking more and will ensure that everyone else does the same.
34. They don’t get embarrassed when they stack it on a night out
And they won't leave another man behind if they stack it. But, on the whole, Northerners have amazing stamina on a night out
35. They know that the night doesn't end until those club lights come on and you're singing Mr Brightside in full view.
36. The North is fucking beautiful
Wain Wath Force with the limestone cliffs of Cotterby Scar in the backgroud, is a waterfall situated on the River Swale in the Yorkshire Dales National Park, North Yorkshire, England.~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ #clouds #rain #waterfall #small #england #northyorkshire #yorkshire #hike #yorkshiredales #walkers #river #riversoftheworld #water #riverswale #nationalpark #northofengland #trees #greysky #swale #swaledale
37. The mum of your flat in uni halls is guaranteed to be Northern
She will make you amazing cups of tea in her dressing gown and clean up your kitchen after a messy pres.
38. Northern people are so skilled, they use pub locations as directions instead of actual road signs
"Hang a left at the Black Swan, if you get to the King's Head you've gone too far."
39. There is such an array of names for round bread items in the North
Is it a bap? Barm? Bun? Muffin? Cob?
40. They use words like "proper", "dead" and "well" before adjectives as an intensifier
"That were dead good that."
41. They have much higher standards of living spaces because property prices are much more reasonable up North
Renting a big flat in central Manchester is actually possible for a person who isn't a millionaire. So coming to London is a bit of a shock when they have to adjust to a single room with no wardrobe for £700 a month.
42. The North is home to Hull: City of Culture extraordinaire
A big thanks to @thestrata_group for all the support they've provided as a supplier. Here's Solar Gate, built by the Strata Group – as a company founded in Hull they have always been passionate and proud about contributing to the city's cultural offering. 📸: Neil Nicklin (@neilnicklinphoto) #StrataOnCulture #Hull2017
43. Also home to much cooler version of London: Manchester
No matter what anyone says, we all know that Manchester is so much better than London. It's just cooler, less annoying and so much cheaper.
44. They get fiercely defensive over their chosen brand of tea
Just don't try to convince them some kind of fancy Southern tea is better, it won't go down well.
45. They haven’t been ruined by weird supposedly cool shit like “pop-ups” and cereal cafes.
In fact they still think pulled pork is really trendy.
46. Prefacing everyone’s name with “our” as a term of endearment is just the most wholesome thing in the world
"Alright our kid?" never gets old.
47. There are still emos in the North, millions of blue haired teens can be found walking the wet, rainy streets of Leeds
Don't ever change x
48. Bouncers always want to pose for pictures with you for some reason
They're having just as much fun working there as you are on your night out, it's beautiful.
49. They don’t know what a single vodka and coke is
To be fair why wouldn't anyone order something so stupid and inefficient.
50. Getting “scraps” with your fish and chips is a life changing experience.
But more galling than any of that is being charged a FUCKING £1 in a fish and chip restaurant for FUCKING SCRAPS! (Bits if you're southern)
— Mark🎅The🎅Herald🎅Angels🎅Sing (@MakerzMark) March 7, 2015
People are not happy that some shops are charging for scraps nowadays.
51. If you’ve never had a Parmo you haven’t lived
Just look at that cheesy goodness.
52. They feel comfortable mixing different food types to make a whole better one
For example, curry sauce and chips, bolognese chips, bread and chips, cheese and gravy and chips, chips and chips.
53. Southerners think they're fancy because they shop at Waitrose, they haven't experienced Booths
It's coming up to the #roast wonderful time of the year! If you're making the important #foodie decisions about the big day, why not take a look our curated collection of this year's #BoothsChristmas #NorthernStars? From #gin & tonic smoked #salmon to melting middle sticky #toffee pud, or #dinner sorted in one box, we'd love to hear which you'd vote for as this year's stars. Pop over to our pinterest & enjoy > https://pin.it/icnf7jp2blctby #Christmas #Sprouts #Turkey #Festive #Feast
It's just SO much fancier. Don't @ me Waitrose.
54. Northern girls aren’t afraid to take their shoes off after a night out
Shout out to that girl who made shoes out of McDonald's bags you're my hero.
Official campaign to find and knight the girl who used McDonald's wrappers for shoes last night pic.twitter.com/aIvLru4fa0
— Martyn (@martynhett) December 17, 2016
55. Going to the shops in trackies/pyjamas/a onesie is more acceptable in the North
Hair rollers too if you're from Liverpool.
56. The North breeds Adonises
Yorkshire as a county did better in the 2012 Olympics than Australia. And probably Loughborough uni, because they love talking about it so much.
57. Guys don’t stare at boob cleavage as much up North
They have become immune to it because they see so much flesh on nights out.
58. Everyone in the North learnt to drive as soon as possible because transport is so shit
Southerners have no practical skill, they all fail their theory because they just don't need to drive enough.
59. Northerners are so patriotic, Yorkshire has its own independence party – and for some reason it doesn’t even sound racist
It's just about keeping Yorkshire together, it's really quite wholesome.