We’ve all been thinking it, so which hot beverage is your uni?
Exeter is so Frappuccino it hurts
Coffee is essential to the life of a uni student, you simply cannot live without it. Early morning coffee, study coffee, essay coffee, revision coffee, there's an endless supply of excuses to spend your entire student loan on these wondrous hot beverages.
But, in between sips, have you ever pondered "If my university was a hot beverage, what would it be?"
Exeter is definitely a Frappuccino, judging by the number of students taking Instagram photos sat in their Fiat 500s holding an icey bev, whereas Liverpool would be a caramel macchiato, obviously.
Let's be honest, you've probably never thought about this, but yet again we've answered this all important question for you anyway.
Bath – Latte
You spend your whole uni life in a Jack Wills gilet playing lacrosse. Despite Jack Wills being so 2009, you've never really grown out of it. Just like how you've never grown out of everyone's first coffee – the latte.
Birmingham – Nutella Hot Chocolate
This choice seemed like a good idea at the time, but in reality it just leaves you feeling sick immediately afterwards. It’s not as exciting as it seemed, it may leave a good aftertaste but you will not want to spend three years of your life drinking it.
Bristol – Iced Coffee
Bristol are so cool they drink iced coffee all year round. You can’t tell them that iced coffee is only meant for the summer months. They don’t care, they set their own trends. Their scrunchies, glitter and piercings just add weight to this edgy look.
Cambridge – Earl Grey
Cambridge students don't just drink any old hot beverage, only the best will do. Breakfast tea? Too common – it just has to be Earl Grey.
Durham – Flat white
You hate people who drink Flat Whites but you can't put your finger on why this is, just like you can't figure out why you dislike Durham students so intensely. Plus, they have a café literally called Flat White.
Exeter – Frapuccino
The Frapp is the girly, basic bitch of beverages – so basically every girl in Exeter. It'll be accessorised with a Fiat 500, hockey stick, and at least two Cartier bracelets.
Hull – Hot water and lemon
Nothing of substance, and you need as many vitamins as you can living in Hull.
Kent – Filter Coffee
Kent students might think they escaped the crippling house prices of London, however they’ve realised that Kent is just as bad. All your student loan goes on rent for a below-par student house and you just don’t understand how they can justifiably charge so much. The only hot beverage you could possibly afford is a filter coffee, sorry guys.
I really love coffee tak tipu hahahahah so sebab kena jimat kita beli 30 sachets for a price of a cup of tall starbucks 😂 pic.twitter.com/yL54ayOo9o
— Dayana (@UngkuDayana) October 4, 2017
Leeds – Irish Coffee
Leeds are such party animals even their coffee has whiskey in it. Legends! They can’t go a single afternoon without pre-ing for the night to come. Their whole life is organised around the sesh.
Lincoln – Really Milky Tea
Never ask a Lincoln student to make you a cup of tea, they will fuck it up just like they fucked their UCAS choices. Even worse than accidentally pouring too much in their cup of tea, they probably do it on purpose.
Liverpool – Caramel Macchiato
Much like this classic Starbucks concoction – you Liverpool students are perfectly crafted. Perfect hair, perfect makeup and a brand new, perfectly coordinated outfit from ASOS. However, after a while it does get a bit sickly and to be honest it’s not good for you to drink them for three years straight.
— Gab (@Conduiitz) November 7, 2017
Liverpool John Moores – Caramel Latte
LJMU students and Liverpool students aren’t all that different. A caramel latte is maybe slightly less pretentious but honestly who can tell the difference?
Loughborough – Green Tea
When these guys eventually take a break from their protein shakes for something a little warmer, it will inevitably be a detox in the form of green tea. They couldn't possibly drink anything that would detract from their gains.
— Amanda (@Ms_Moy) November 5, 2017
King's – Coconut Flat White from Pret
To be honest you don't even care what hot drink it is, as long as it's from Pret. You laugh in the face of your London rent by dropping even more money at any and every Pret you walk past each day, which is a fair few.
Manchester – Pumpkin Spiced Latte
Manchester think they're all that, but just like the Pumpkin Spiced Latte, would anyone actually miss them if they weren't around?
Pumpkin spiced latte ? Do you love it/hate it? pic.twitter.com/bWBwW6mC30
— Hyggebox 🍂🍁 (@hygge_stund) October 31, 2017
Newcastle – Black Coffee
No messing about. There's only one thing that will cure a hangover brought on by more trebles than should be physically possible to drink.
No frills, just pure, unadulterated bitter black nectar. Plus, it completes the aesthetic alongside your puffer jacket and hoops.
Nottingham – Builder's Tea
Builder's Tea is a hot beverage. Nottingham is a university. That's that. Both just middle of the road and completely ordinary.
Oxford – Espresso
The founding father of all coffee delicacies. It is the core ingredient of all of our warm sweet treats. We wouldn't be here without it.
— Christo (@AfricaZao) November 17, 2017
Royal Holloway – Mocha
Living in Egham you know how to treat yourself every once in a while and a Mocha does exactly that. It's not quite as delectable as a hot chocolate, but it's not your bog standard latte – it's in between, the best of both worlds.
Southampton – Gingerbread Latte
Southampton is alright, it is fun but it’s also a bit of a one trick pony (the massive IKEA is probably its most redeeming feature). Once you’ve had the gingerbread latte, updated your social media to let everyone know, where do you go from there?
— Pete Hall (@pete5567hall) November 6, 2017
Sussex – Chai Latte
You thought coming to Sussex would be cool, exciting and a great place for you to continue finding yourself after your gap year travelling South East Asia. But ultimately you’re not even in Brighton, you’re paying over the odds for housing and much like chai latte, it’s a disappointment. A weird milky cinnamon mess of a drink.
Come enjoy this weeks drink of the week.. a warming dirty pumpkin chai latte! Fall is in the air and this is the hand warmer you need! pic.twitter.com/0TPbyuswJX
— The 205 Coffee Bar (@205coffee) November 6, 2017
St Andrews – Cappuccino
Just like Durham, you're an Oxbridge reject, but why did you feel the need to go all the way to Scotland when you could have saved yourself a couple of hours on the train by going to Durham? Same posh people, but better. Nearly as baffling a choice as choosing a cappuccino over a flat white.
Warwick – English breakfast tea
York – Americano with milk on the side
York’s a safe bet, a good uni with a good reputation. It’s a careful Americano, with the milk on the side because the York student isn’t risky enough to let someone else pour in their milk.