The 36 mistakes you’ll undoubtedly make as a girl at uni
Wearing a full face of makeup to the gym was a good idea at the time
University is an amazing experience, but with the good undoubtedly must come the bad. As a girl, three years at uni is an evolutionary process, full of cringe and tragic moments.
Like when you tried to make vodka cranberry your 'thing', or took up yoga and filled Instagram with the evidence. Or when you thought it was a good idea to shag a rugby lad *shudders*.
We've all been there – here's every mistake you'll make as a girl at uni.
Trying out a new look during the first month of first year
Uni is a fresh start, nobody knows you or anything about you, so now's the time to get that blunt fringe and dye your hair black, right? Bad idea.
Taking every single pair of shoes you own to halls, to only wear the same pair day and night
You'll soon realise there isn't any room and throw most of them away. Those battered Converse you've owned since 2011 won't be worn, and will instead fester in mould until you decide yes, you won't wear them ever again.
Bulk buying fairy lights
This is basic bitch 101: Get some fairy lights off Amazon with the gift card you got when you signed up for a student account and make your room a massive fire hazard. Who cares! It looks cute on Instagram!
Deciding vodka cranberry was your 'thing'
It's every fresher in the UK's thing and it will give you heartburn. By the end of first year you'll never be able to go near it ever again. You'll hate the taste of cranberry, which will be a bitch when you have raging cystitis after your latest dick appointment.
Thinking you could show off and neck absinthe in pres, and becoming a regular mess
And subsequently passing out and having to be put to bed before everyone goes out – cringe.
Not breaking up with your boyfriend before leaving
Brad is the love of your life, right? You could never imagine breaking up with him, right? You've planned your future together and how you're going to "make it work" at uni, despite him studying over 200 miles away.
Then accidentally cheating on him with a rugby lad
Yeah, whoopsy! The heat in the SU mixed with one too many VK makes that 6ft something rugby guy in his blue shirt and chinos absolutely irresistible. You'll have a heated night of unprotected sex and then you'll never see him again. Was it worth it? Probably not but you needed an excuse to break up with your boyfriend anyway.
Joining a gym thinking you'll look like Grace Fit in two months, but never actually going
You'll go once, maybe twice in your first term and you'll convince yourself you're really gonna "get into it". Three months later you've still only been twice, and are £60 out of pocket.
Going to said gym in a full face of makeup and with your hair done
Yes, there are fitties at the gym but you'll look like a twat when that full coverage foundation starts sliding down your face 15 mins into a cardio sesh. Hot!
Kinda fancying a flatmate
He keeps walking around shirtless and giving you the eyes, it's natural to feel a bit tingly.
Getting with that flatmate
"Never shit where you eat – Matthew 5:3".
Leaving your bedroom unlocked, and your fellow housemate's sabotaging it when you're out
Tinfoiling is a thing, it happens to everyone at some point.
Making a Seeking Arrangement account when you're poor in the hopes of getting a sugar daddy
If you haven't already done this, don't lie and pretend like you haven't thought about it.
Chatting up a fit barman when you're drunk AF and he's sober AF
You think your moves are smooth but really you're just babbling shit into this poor guy's ear whilst he's reluctantly making you a Sex on the Beach.
Getting some plants from IKEA for the windowsill to make your room look wholesome.
They will soon die, just like your dignity.
Trying out some diet pact with your housemates
And giving it up a few double vodkas deep when you hear McDonald's calling your name.
Turning up to lectures still gurning from the night before
"Cirque was great last night guys!!!"
Bringing home some proper mingers, and never living it down with your housemates
Yeah, I mean…They looked good last night? Didn't they…?
Pissing yourself because you're too drunk
And realising you have no spare sheets on hand.
Asking a lecturer or member of faculty something inappropriate when you see them on a night out
"If I get you a shot of sambuca, will you give me a First lol", will flood back in that 10am seminar on child language acquisition when they're dead-staring you across the room.
Getting a job in a nightclub as a promo girl
The hours really aren't worth it. Getting home at 5am after watching your friends all have a great time all night? No thanks.
Having really loud sex in halls and pissing off everyone around you
The walls are thin, they can hear you being spanked.
Giving away your deepest, darkest secrets in a game of never have I ever
NOBODY NEEDS TO KNOW YOU SUCKED SOMEONE OFF BEHIND A SUBWAY ONCE, JUST DON'T TELL THEM.
Going into town on the day you get your loan and going wild
Hello Debenhams, goodbye £500! It doesn't matter if I'll be poor, my face is gonna look like a Kardashian!
Downloading a bingo app
Do NOT download the Mecca Bingo app and DO NOT play the Emoji game.
Getting some tattoos
Your mum doesn't know about them, does she? This will likely happen in your procrastination stage, when you've cleaned the house, watched Jeremy Kyle and the repeats on plus one and made several batches on chilli con carne and green Thai curry. Only then will you decide fuck it, I'll get a tat as well.
Getting your nose pierced
God, it's called being edgy.
Wearing a jumpsuit or playsuit that's really hard to get on and off during a a heavy sesh, meaning going to the toilet is near impossible
I mean it's just inevitable that you're gonna piss all over it – at least you look good though!
Trying some new drugs out
Weed isn't really a drug? It's not addictive, just a joint here and there yano..
Not taking an umbrella out when it's raining
It'll ruin your outfit and plus you can't be arsed carrying it round with you all night. And then it starts to chuck it down. And the queues are long and unsheltered.
Matching with a course mate on Tinder
You'll wonder whether or not to say something everytime you sit opposite him in a seminar, then a few weeks in you'll both be smashed on a social and bang. Then it'll be awkward as fuck in those 9am seminars for the next three years.
Trying out yoga because you're trying to reinvent yourself
And embarrassing yourself whilst simultaneously falling over and farting in the quietest of classes.
You won't be able to afford maintaining them and will definitely snap them off.
Getting your tits out for a dare in Freshers' Week
Cool, well I guess everyone knows the shape of my nipples now – even that fit guy two blocks up who definitely won't be trying it on anymore.
Documenting all the times you're on MDMA to show off
You'll take millions of Snapchats and have the longest Instagram story whilst you're on it to show all your home mates you're cool now. You'll regret it in the morning.
Deciding you want to live with your "best friends" in November
And realising you hate them all by June. Tom's a Tory, Jenny is a superficial bitch and Liam never fucking cleans up after himself. What have I gotten myself into?