How long it takes to get over someone, based on how long you were together

We asked an expert


Whether it was a fling or you were all ready to meet the fam, there’s nothing harder than surviving a modern day break up.

At first, everyone is sympathetic with their “awww, these things happen for a reason” and they say bullshit nonsense like “if it’s not okay, then it’s not the end.” But a week later they’re telling you to get over it and to “just set up a Tinder account already.”

What if you’re not over it? What if you want to stay in every Friday night, just to re-watch Notting Hill? What if you actually enjoy crying yourself to sleep every night? Just how long is too long to wallow in self-pity and keep referring to everything you buy as retail therapy?

We asked Edrina Rush, a Relationship, Health and Wellness Expert, exactly how long it takes to get over someone (and actually get over them properly), depending on how long you were together for.

A few weeks – a fling

According to Edrina, it takes a few days because it may just be lust or infatuation. The best way to get over a fling is to “take part in social activities, meet new people and enjoy the outdoors.”

Three months – a thing

Getting over someone you were with for a few months with is kinda awkward. It’s not really a fling but it’s not a super serious relationship either.

It should take you from a week to a month, to fully move on. Edrina says: “Have some ‘me time’ such as meditating, yoga, or taking a weekend trip to places of interest. And don’t forget to spend time with family and friends.”

Six months – half serious relationship

It can take anywhere from a week to three months to get over a six month relationship. But there are a few factors that might affect that, such as:

– Whether it was lust or love

– How deep your emotional connection was with that person

– If you were in a co-dependent relationship with that person

– How much time you spent with each other and what you did when you saw each other

Basically it all depends whether you caught the feels or not.

A year – serious relationship

It takes between a month to two months to get over someone you were with for a year. As this was probably a more serious relationship, Edrina said: “you need to take time to reflect and acknowledge that it’s time to move on.”

“You may not be ready to date yet, so make time to take care of your health, indulge in massages to relax and release any tension, learn new things like language or cooking classes. Indulge in some self-love to heal yourself until you feel ready to date again. ”

A few years – together forever vibes

Generally, the longer you have been with someone, the longer it takes to get over someone. So a relationship that ended after a few years, will give you heartbreak from anytime up to 12 months. Yikes.

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