This is what you’re like as a person based on what university you go to
A very accurate list of uni stereotypes
Just when you thought we were done trying to define you, we're back with more tasty treats. This time round, we're bringing the stereotypes of each university in the UK, which literally every student fits. Probably.
So, what does your choice of university really say about you? Who are you as a person? What is life? Let's find out.
So, you’ve ended up in Wales. There are loads of pubs so you thought this might be okay. But it turns out that you’re all quite weird and don’t really want to be there.
A little bit behind the times and very far away from any form of civilisation, you’d better prepare yourself for some bad weather and weird shit at the rugby social. Remember, no one will hear your screams.
When will you understand, no one believes you go to Cambridge uni. The building is the wrong side of Parker’s Piece and you just haven’t got the look. I really hope you didn’t move to Cambridge from elsewhere to go to this uni, only to find you won’t be able to get a good enough job to pay for the horrifically expensive rent prices and pints.
You’re more in Birmingham than Birmingham uni, but still no one knows where Aston is. You’ll be found getting lashed and chasing tail at Snobs, but how fulfilled are you?
Straight from the home counties, Bath babes are sporty and look cute in Jack Wills and Hollister. You refute the idea that there’s more to life than rugby and gilets, but that doesn’t make you bad people. Just cripplingly dull people.
A normal uni for normal people. Birmingham uni doesn’t live up to the brum swagger of Peaky Blinders, or even Aston. It’s basically the Russell Group uni for people with no imagination. So little, in fact, that all you’ll wear is your uni sport stash and maybe some Ugg Boots.
Made in Chelsea’s Frankie Gaff went to Bournemouth, so one can only assume everyone there is fit, rich and doesn’t planning on using their degree in future life.
More fun than Sussex. Not hard.
Don’t even try to deny it, you’re posh. And you love being posh. You just don’t want people to know that you love being posh. Despite how edgy you will become at Bristol, you’ll never be different to anyone else around you, especially once you become a drug zombie, Red Stripe in one hand, rollie in the other.
Gosh aren’t you clever, you must have worked so hard to get here! All that hard work has earned you the right to complain about how horrific it is to study at Cambridge for three years, only to stay there for your postgrad so you can continue complaining. God forbid you should attempt to leave the beloved bubble.
You might be Welsh, but it’s more likely that you’re English, pretty down to earth, and a really good laugh. The girls love a good dress up, just to spill a VK and a curry down their body-con dress and, well, the boys are just the boys, you know?
Sort of the same as Kent, but probably not as good? Who knows, you went to uni in Kent, did you really think anyone was going to give a fuck about you?
Are you sick of being called Oxbridge rejects yet? I sure hope not. Just because Durham has a collegiate system, doesn’t mean it’s the same. Have fun festering in bitterness together for the next three years.
You’ll tell your home friends that you go to Newcastle for nights out all the time but really you just settled for Loveshack Wednesdays (RIP). Or the Champagne Ball, if you’ve not got rowing practice in the morning.
Rich, good looking and pretty damn clever, Edinburgh students are a sought after bunch. There aren’t actually that many Scottish people at this uni in Scotland but they look great in wool so who can complain?
You all think far too highly of yourselves and can’t dress down to save your lives. What even is smart casual?!
You went to private school. Probably quite an expensive one. You would have gone to Leeds, but you would have risked being in halls with a northerner and that simply would not do.
Devilishly rich and good looking, you won’t have trouble finding a suitable spouse to bring home to mummy and daddy, and ideally you’ll be able to nab a paid internship off their daddy too.
It’s fine, you didn’t want to go to a big uni anyway, right? Exeter is full of posh people up their own arses, it’s much more zen in Falmouth. You definitely surf, and/or skateboard. I mean what else is there to do? The nightlife is pretty dead but you make your own fun smoking loads of joints and discussing arty, arty things.
A much more fun version of Edinburgh, but probably still not Scottish.
“Where do you go to uni? Ah, Hull! The city of culture, isn’t it. Cool.” This is what everyone will say to you to hide their disappointment that you go somewhere so… meh.
It’s a really, really good uni, why aren’t you more popular?? You were literally too good for Oxbridge, but there are like two girls in the whole uni. You win some, you lose some. But, hey, you didn’t come here for the romance, you came to get yourself a very highly paid engineering job, after all.
Gals who definitely drink Lambrini at pre drinks and wear a lot of fake tan.
Literally why did you come to uni in Kent? What did you think it was going to be like? Fun?
You’re all social warriors and totally in the know. Lots of chic intellectuals in long coats and trainers smoking rollies. That is a lewk, tbf.
The only good thing you’ve got going for you is Kingston Pryzm, really.
You thought you went to a top ten uni, it seems that you do not. Alas, you must continue through the cold, pretending that you go to a top ten university. Good luck?
Glitter, Red Stripe, MD, raves, Hyde Park, fit blonde girls, that green puffa. Everyone knows about Leeds. We all kind of hate you, but want to be you. Ngl, you're annoyingly cool. You dress in festival grunge chic all the time but somehow make it work.
In the Golden Four for a reason, you party hard and look good doing it. I mean you won’t be the most effortless of the lot, Leeds students have to try pretty hard to achieve that look, and hide a horrifically middle-class upbringing.
No one will believe that your uni is better than the actual uni of Leeds. Changing the name from Leeds Met to Leeds Beckett didn’t help, either.
There’s a third uni in Leeds? Yeah, I didn't know either.
This wasn’t your first choice of uni, was it? You ended up at your backup, but that kept you grounded. You might not be very interesting, but you’re sure to be a pretty decent bloke.
Constantly trying to be defined as more than the shithole Will from The Inbetweeners said it was, Lincoln really hasn’t got much else going on.
Fake tan and a real good time. No one in Liverpool wears coats on a night out, why would you when alcohol stops you feeling the cold? There are lots of Irish people here, so I hope you like Paddy’s day.
How much hope is even left in your life, really?
You’re literally just there for the sake of it. Supposedly one of the worst universities in the UK, according to the Guardian, you either chose to study here by accident or you simply didn’t get in anywhere else.
London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine
You must be pretty sure of yourself if you knew your career path would be specific enough for a place like this when you left school at 18.
Sports, sports, sports. About half the GB Olympic team went to Loughborough and they love telling you about it. What little nightlife is available in this city is well-used for AU socials, chino-clad and VKs in hand.
Money makes the world go round. “I thought sex made the world go round?”, calls a distant voice. Silence. Money. Money is the key, and I will soon be holding it.
You’ll never stop telling people that you go to Manchester and all the CRAZY shit that goes on there. From Jack Wills to wavey garms by reading week, UoM students know how to reinvent themselves. Dressing down for grim nights at Antwerp is what you do best, then to an after party to do lines and have some good times.
The house party scene isn’t what it once was, but you’ll still refer to the glory days as if you were there. Another member of the Golden Four for a reason, you’ll rock up to the library in the same outfit from the night before, still looking grunge perfection.
UoM’s cheeky little brother, MMU students prefer seshing to studying and are good at what they do. More Northern than your Russell Group compatriots, and a bit more of a laugh because of it, you’re not afraid to get your noses dirty at a Warehouse Project night and crash any after party going in Fallowfield.
Another member of the Golden Four, Newcastle uni is full of posh southerners biding their time until the trust fund opens up. You’ll grab your Canada Goose on the way out the door, because it’s fucking freezing in Newcastle, but you can pop your feet against the Aga to warm those chilly little toes when you get home.
Let’s not forget nightlife. You all love to get pissed in Newcastle. Hello? Trebles? You will never let your friends at home forget about how great Newcastle is, and how CHEAP THE DRINKS ARE.
If you’re from the south, the cool thing to do is move north. And if you are from the north, you go south? Or is it more north? It certainly isn’t to the Midlands. Why are you moving to the Midlands? Have you heard the accent?
Not quite the rah, rah, Aga crowd of Newcastle uni, you’re way more down to earth and are proper laddy. You love going out on the pull, Geordie Shore style, and never wear a coat despite Newcastle being probably the coldest place on earth.
Bit boring, but you know it. You wish you were Trent. “Why couldn’t I have failed one of my A-Levels and gone to Trent through clearing instead?” you’ll whine. Trent grads will tell employers they went to your uni AND they’ll be more interesting. If you’ve both got a 2:1, who do you think they’re gonna choose?
All aboard the banter bus to Seshlehem, amarite? At Trent, you’ll develop an intense love for all things sesh: Strongbow Dark Fruit, VKs, even a bit of MD every now and then, because you can afford to skip uni in the morning. You’re gonna get a 2:2 anyway.
Sorry, did you know this is the BEST UNIVERSITY IN THE WORLD? You deserve nothing but the best, of course. Rowing gear by day and chinos by night, you really know how to get down and party Bullingdon style.
We get it, you’re really good looking and probably quite wealthy. You’re a LOT more fun than the other Oxford uni, but you’re obviously a lot less intelligent. That won’t stop you pretending that you go that uni though, no amount of disbelief will ever stop you.
You probably thought you were going to Portsmouth which is a lot closer to civilisation, and got quite a shock when you turned up in Devon.
Surprisingly good looking. That is all.
You’re Irish, right? You’re all rowdy, love a drink, and really didn’t want to move too far away from home.
You’ve squeezed your way into the Russell Group, but no one actually believes the validity of this status. It’s unlikely that you moved to London to go to uni, chances are you were already there and didn’t fancy moving out of your parents’ flat and paying rent. Plus the idea of cheap drinks and rent scares you, there must be a catch up north?
Positively average. Remarkably forgettable. Reading and Leeds are intrinsically linked through festival brotherhood, yet as actual places to live, Reading is just not even close to the personality of Leeds.
Royal Agricultural College
One part actual budding farmers to two parts posh, rowdy boys who couldn’t get into a normal uni but had to do something with themselves to stave their boredom after leaving boarding school.
Royal College of Music
You always want to turn the tele off so you can listen to Classic FM in a communal area. People just don’t appreciate real music these days, not like you do.
There are literally no men at this university. Maybe because they can’t find you? Where even is Royal Holloway?
Royal Veterinary College
Your childhood animal obsession has resulted in five years of gruelling studies to become a vet. Was it worth it?
Manchester has many universities. Salford happens to be one of them. What would possess you to go to Salford rather than one of the actual unis in Manchester is a mystery. But here you are! Manchester students are always somewhat taken aback when they encounter someone from Salford, but they can converse about that rave they both went to in North Manchester that one time.
You kind of missed the memo about fashion changing after the Alex Turner hype died down, like 10 years ago. There are a lot of boys in shite shirts dancing to Sandstorm drinking rainbow pints before eating a sit-down curry in the middle of the night. Are you guys okay?
Like Sheffield, just a lot looser and holding more VK.
You just bloody love the sea. That’s why you went to Southampton. Not because you didn’t get in anywhere else. Yeah, the beach is nice isn’t it. Lovely, wet beach. To be fair, you've got a cracking shopping centre and IKEA.
Just lots of rich, good looking people who probably aren’t as intelligent as they’d like people to think. You probably came here to find your Prince William, but he’s taken so you’ve basically wasted a whole degree.
Like Glasgow uni, but with more ketamine, more Buckfast and more SNP.
You’re just so fucking zen. If you weren’t a vegan before uni, you are now. Same goes for smoking weed and renouncing the capitalist structure of society.
Did you mean to go to Cardiff and end up here accidentally?
Hetty Douglas has kind of ruined your rep, sorry guys.
You literally only ever talk about London. People who don’t go to uni here are missing out in your eyes, and you will explain this to them as if they’ve never been to London in their lives. You’ve got so much going on, so many people to see and things to do all on top of studying for a very important degree!
I mean, you literally went to uni in Preston. Not sure I trust your judgement on anything in life.
So pure, so simple, so untouched by, well, anything because Norwich is impossible to get to. Lovers of fancy dress which quickly gets banned for being cultural appropriation, and a few VKs at the LCR. You enjoy the simplest of pleasures at UEA.
A slightly less posh and more fun version of Bristol. You won’t care about job prospects once you’re immersed in Motion’s glittery drug pit.
We GET it, Warwick is a really good uni, shame you won’t be able to cover up how cripplingly dull you are with your first in PPE. You will try to become prime minister but inevitably get pipped at every post in life by Oxbridge rivals.
You’ll be so bored at York you’ll end up doing NOS on your own daily. Such high hopes of a beautiful collegiate university, with fun, fun, fun round every corner. You must have been so disappointed when you got to York.
York St John
You’re northern, you love boogying to Arctic Monkeys bangers and probably got all your clothes from Jacamo or TK Maxx.