Freshers are coming! The last hurrah of the hometown clubbers of the week

A tale of misery and woe


Freshers are nearly here. Well, they've started in Edinburgh, but they're yet to get south of the wall.

Up and down the land, revellers gather together to enjoy one last week before an army of unthinking, reanimated beings sweep over their holdfasts.

Some must go off to distant lands to tread unknown dance floors, knowing that when winter comes the lone clubber dies, but the squad survives.

Here they are, the Night's Kings and Queens. It's the last hurrah of the hometown clubbers.

This is who your ex was talking about when she said she was texting "no body"

He's just trying to get a head

He's just trying to get a head

Third and fourth wheels of the week

A perfect moment, ruined only by literally everything around it

A perfect moment, ruined only by literally everything around it

One girl has her eyes closed, so to compensate the other has hers open twice as wide

An eye for an eye, eye guess

An eye for an eye, eye guess

Surprisingly effective fake IDs of the week

I didn't shave for a month so I looked like my brother

I didn't shave for a month so I looked like my brother

Unconventional hand puppet of the week

"If I could just get my hand in…a bit…further"

"If I could just get my hand in…a bit…further"

Fair fucks, but that shirt's about to get uncomfortably wet

Impressive finger strength, though

Impressive finger strength, though

Undercover clubber of the week

The glow up is sadly limited to the eyebrows

The glow up is sadly limited to the eyebrows

"I just farted and now it's your problem"

Oops

Oops

Poppin' bottles in the ice

Like a blizzard

Like a blizzard

"Can you get the cast in please pal?"

Impressive how he's matched it with the shirt

Impressive how he's matched it with the shirt

I know it looks like this guy can't remember where his friends have gone and is left holding their drinks

But Hilfiger it out, don't worry

But Hilfiger it out, don't worry

I can't see his face, but I imagine it's a visage of shock at the fact his drinks have been replaced with pizza

Check out Edward Pizzahands over here

Check out Edward Pizzahands over here

There's never a wrong time to check if you put deodorant on

Some…body once told me the world was gonna roll on

Some…body once told me the world was gonna roll on

Look, we mock the t-shirt under shirt vibe, but we'll be the first to accept it's better than the alternative

This was definitely ripped open at the climax of All Star

This was definitely ripped open at the climax of All Star

Legend has it, wearing a fluorescent jacket will get you anywhere, even Clubbers of the Week

It's time for you to leave, mate.

It's time for you to leave, mate.

All pictures are from the clubs' official Facebook pages. Featured image courtesy of Tup Tup Palace Newcastle.