These are the cringiest Facebook posts from the freshers of 2017

Freshers' is upon us, and with it, a raft of eager first years who think it's gonna be like Fresh Meat or that film they watched once about an American uni.

Once UCAS has confirmed their coveted place at uni, there's only one thing left to do – join a Freshers' group and make some uni friends. Sadly, the high hopes anyone holds for these melting pots of expectant freshers are always dashed.

Instead, we're left with all manner of cringe. Here are some of the best:

Sometimes when you drink you end up with a traffic cone, or perhaps a stranger. Others, a ticket for a pretty standard Freshers' event.

Or you will write a boozy saga in three parts:

Joel: Don't post in the Freshers' Facebook group today

Also Joel:

We get it Joel, you drink.

Then there will be people like Dhruv, and in his defence that's just wishful thinking.

The freshers will try to make friends in the weirdest ways possible and who can blame them, when we all met our best friends on the Freshers' Facebook? Oh wait, no, we didn't. But it was worth a shot.

Ah the classic "what Harry Potter house would you be in?" Leave that for us Daniel, there's an article for that in the pipeline at The Tab.

Ronnie. Your group has three members, including you.

That's quite a wide range of interests there.

Ah yes, canny wait to share my A-Level results disappointment with the rest of the country!!!

Any guy who uses the arm emoji is arguably the worst type of guy you can meet at uni. Avoid. AVOID.

So you mean the whole population of Sheffield?

But sometimes, on a very rare occasion, you do find what you're looking for:

Yeah you probably should brush up on your general social skills Kieran…

Show me a fresher who actually uses a cooking book, and I will show you someone who doesn't know how to Google.

Instead of trying to make a few friends, some ambitious freshers will try and go straight in for the BNOC status by sparking up a soul destroying debate about food.

Imagine going to a club and trying to break the ice with someone by asking them whether ketchup belongs in the fridge or cupboard.

Just imagine.

Ah yes, how could we forget the all important Great British Bread Debate?

Joel, I'm pretty sure that A1, A2, A3, B1, B2, B3, C1 and C2 are all just untoasted bread.

And can someone please block him from this group? Admins? Mark Zuckerberg?

Hannah, you don't want to start up the whole North/South divide thing. Trust us.

Becky, you get sent about 50 emails a day telling you when the move in date is. READ THEM.

Ok Molly, you just keep on telling yourself that and pretending you're not gutted you didn't get into halls instead.

By friends do you actually mean a one night stand? Because we've all been there.

Then there will always be that one guy looking for his flatmates, instead of you know, just meeting them when moving in:

Then there will be promoters, desperately trying and failing to masquerade as enthusiastic freshers:

There will also be shit memes: