What your choice of soft drink says about your general vibe
Never trust the person drinking Vimto
Despite your best efforts to pretend to be normal, there are certain choices make that can't hide the person you really are. Your drink of choice is a fine example. If you drink Coke Zero, you probably have about as much taste as it does. If you drink Fruit Shoot, you’re probably a child in an adults body.
Don’t believe us? Find your favourite soft drink below and see what it says about your general vibe.
You like your crisps ready salted, your pizza margherita, your fish and chips on Friday, your roast dinner on Sunday and your sex missionary. You arrive at work bang on 9am and leave on the dot at 5pm. You'll usually bring a ham and cheese sandwich to work to accompany your favourite carbonated beverage, but sometimes you'll be quirky and totally random and have cheese and ham.
You think you're more sophisticated than regular Coca-Cola, but really you've just got fewer calories and even less substance.
You believe through your raw-vegan nomadic lifestyle you will single-handedly be able to reverse the effects of global warming. Oh, and you like the look of the green can.
You have zero taste.
You realised that this actually tastes better than Coca-Cola since the first time you swigged it down at the bowling alley, but nobody ever listens to you.
Rumours of Dr. Pepper lowering your sperm count have not fazed you, you reckless fucker. You eat frozen pizza for dinner most nights, you watch stoner cartoons because you think they are legitimately good, you probably do own some form of skateboard.
Ben Sherman's Cream Soda
Yes, life could be a regency costume drama, you could be living inside a Jane Austen novel, but you aren't. We could all be annihilated by nuclear missiles any second, which wouldn't matter anyway as nobody exists on purpose, nobody belongs anywhere, and everybody's going to die. But don't you worry about that, you just keep sipping on your Farrow and Ball coloured can of cream soda.
Similar vibes to the above, really. It reminds you of all your different holidays to lovely European locations, you say prefer you it to Fanta Orange, but really you just find that it comes in a cooler bottle.
You know where it is at, you’ve always preferred Fanta over Coke, if you find a bottle of Fanta Lemon you’re in heaven. You are loyal to Fanta, you’d give Fruit Twist a go if you got the chance.
Sinister but in a boring way. When life gives you lemons, you would make lemonade.
You're the same. There’s never any set of decisions that a person can make to then decide that the drink they fancy is a 7up. You will go into a shop to buy a drink, you may come out with 7up, you may not.
You're still in the same habit you were in at school. Hopping on the school bus slurping down a piping cold can of Red Bull. At the time everyone was jealous of you, but not anymore.
Everything about you is loud. Your personality, your fashion choices, and most definitely your voice. You’re always so pumped and hyper, not in a happy way though, everyone can smell the testosterone brewing inside of you after you swig down your third can before noon.
This is what you look like.
You probably let the drink sit for a while so it goes a bit flat because the bubbles hurt your tongue.
You're either Scottish, or spend the whole time telling everyone you are.
You literally can’t be trusted.
You grew up in the 1990s and unironically clog up everyone’s Facebook feeds from sharing every meme about things only 90s kids will remember.
People who drink Rubicon are the spice of life. This advert proves this:
San Pellegrino – Limonata
You have good taste, if you’re going to have a lemonade then you may as well go for this one, otherwise why bother? Oh, also you're a champagne socialist.
San Pellegrino – Aranciata
You're a TORY.
San Pellegrino – Arianciata Rosa
You're a TORY who supports fox hunting and wants to bring back corporal punishment.
Everyone describes you as a woo girl and you’re borderline a little bit too extra. You’ll wear fruity accessories and froth at the mouth over anything with a pineapple on it, to go alongside your tropical drink.
Old Jamaica Ginger Beer
You’re pretty solid. You can see off 330ml of their Fiery Ginger Beer without batting an eyelid, much to everyone else’s shock and horror – and that is EXACTLY why you do it.
Your name is Jared, you live with your parents. You spend your day playing World of Warcraft apart from when your Mum pops to the shops which is your masturbation time.
If you drink these over the age of 10, you are definitely on some sort of register.
You’re at a Year 6 disco. Your mum still tells you to hold your glass with two hands when having a drink.
Lipton Ice Tea
Did you enjoy your year abroad in France?