Bet all your mums are so proud
Ketamine is a very silly drug. Besides definitely being bad for your long-term health, it makes people's legs go all funny. Still, it's pretty ubiquitous, according to our most recent drugs survey.
We've given you a map of how much students up and down the country are paying for cocaine, and revealed how much they're getting high. But what about ket?
The Tab's Drugs Survey runs every year, and is the largest of its kind. For 2018's survey, over 12,000 students told us all about their drug taking habits.
Overall, 48.26 per cent of students say they've tried ket, whilst almost a fifth say they take it once a month or more.
Generally, students say they're as likely to do ket while they're out as they are at an afters. A small percentage say they do it before they go out, or when they're not going out.
At Manchester and Manchester Met, by far the country's kettiest unis, three quarters have tried it – clearly not settling down since last year's survey. 16 per cent of Manchester students say they get ketty once a week or more – around three times more than the national average and a massive eight times larger than Warwick.
Meanwhile, at Royal Holloway, Cambridge, and Exeter – where students are probably most likely to own actual horses – not even a third have ever been wonky.
Where does your uni rank?
Percentage of respondents who say they take ketamine once a year or more.
Annoyingly, given how much their uni sounds like ket if you say it quickly, Kent students come bottom of the table.
Only a handful of unis take more ket than Leeds. It's cheap and it's everywhere around Hyde Park. One anonymous student says that at £20 a gram, Ket in Leeds is almost seen as an alternative to drinking. "If someone tells me they’ve paid more than £25 I’m shocked."
Along with dealers handing out business cards, the mad house parties Leeds is known for also give students a reason to get a wonk on. "The Hyde Park house party culture definitely fuels it as well," they say. "Everyone has a 'ketty basement' and landlords don’t care what you get up to in them or how much you destroy them."
Exeter, on the other hand, rank pretty low. Barely one in five students say they take it once a year or more. "The nights out aren't good enough to warrant taking drugs. Most people go to Bristol if they want a big one," says one student.
Big house parties are rare, too, with a crackdown stopping things getting out of hand. "A lot of the time estate patrol turn up before it can get too wild," the student says. "My friend's 21st got shut down at literally 9:30"
Ket is more expensive in Exeter, around £30 a gram. And where there are drugs, people turn to MD or coke "because it's a posh uni so people can afford to."
Are more students taking ket than ever?
The drought is long gone, and ket's pretty easy for students to get hold of. But are they using it more?
Drugs statistics suggest the weird stereotype of young people giving up fun in favour of saving for houses and being woke online isn't necessarily true. Nationally, ketamine use among young people has rocketed in the last year. Recently published Home Office statistics show "an increase in ketamine use among 16 to 24 year olds from 1.2 per cent to 3.1 per cent," the highest estimate since records began.
Our figures suggest usage among students is considerably higher – across our survey, an average of 34.38 per cent said they use ket yearly or more often. Self-selection is present across both – you're probably not going to own up to the government if you take ket, and you're probably more likely to click on a drugs survey if you get wonky. Still, both sets of data suggest, like someone glued to the sofa at 3am, it's not going anywhere.