Machetes, drug busts and nudity: Here are some of your mad halls stories

Bet your first year looks boring now


Uni halls are often viewed through nostalgic, rose-tinted glasses. They are a safe haven for students who finally don't have to hide from their mum that they enjoy a VK.

However, this newfound freedom that comes with living in halls can go to the heads of the weirder students amongst us, who take everything a little too far.

These willing survivors have told us their unfortunate tales of their time in halls, which wasn't the student paradise they'd been promised.

You've been pranked by the prank patrol

You've been pranked by the prank patrol

A shit on the floor and a night in the cells

My housemate took so much coke he couldn’t stand up, so had a shit off the edge of his bed and then passed out. He woke up the next morning still smashed wanting a beer, so went to the 24-hour garage, stole a can and got arrested. We all had to go and collect him from the police station the next day. – Lucas, Bournemouth

The pissy sink

I came back from a night out and my drunk housemate was pissing all over the dirty dishes left in the sink, with someone else filming it. Absolutely grim. – Alice, Leeds

A spot of Satanism

I know someone who set fire to a pentagram of lighter fluid just outside our block, and not a small one either. – Marcus, Aberystwyth

The night is young and full of teenagers

The night is young and full of teenagers

The case of the mystery shitter

We had a mystery shitter who left a smelly surprise in a Domino's pizza box in our kitchen. I believe other floors were affected by the phantom pooer too, in their kettles and cupboards. The guy was also known for streaking around the campus, but we never found out who he was. – Will, York

Someone was angry Camilla didn't win Love Island

A guy in my halls hadn't paid any of his rent and was being threatened with eviction, so he ripped his TV off the wall and started throwing it around the courtyard against the ground floor flats where I lived. Apparently, the inside of his studio was much worse, like it had shit thrown everywhere and sofas torn up. He was obviously then kicked out. – Mia, Liverpool

Cooking up some tasty pigs trotters

Me and two of my friends were watching a film in one of our rooms late at night, when we suddenly smelt what could only be described as rotten eggs. We walked out into the kitchen to discover our flatmate boiling pig trotters with the toe nails still on. – Megan, Birmingham

The bloody election

On the night of the general election I stayed up on my own to watch the results. I went to make a cuppa at around 3AM and there was a shit tonne of blood all smeared along the walls and in a massive pool in the toilet, with the toilet seat broken and the door smashed in. Next thing I know security are putting yellow tape all over the place and emergency cleaners are getting the blood out the carpet. One of my flatmates eventually messaged me, he was in hospital with one of his course friends who passed out in the loo and bashed his head. So yeah, not your average election evening. – Kate, Warwick

BREAKING: rugby lad is a legend

My flatmate came back from a rugby initiation and thought it would be funny to poo outside the door to my room. I found it when leaving for lectures the next morning – he was very apologetic and gave the contaminated area a thorough clean. – Maria, Cardiff

Drugs busts and machetes

We had two armed raids in my halls with full police forces on consecutive days. First was for a drug bust of a friend of mine, second was a drunk guy waving a machete around because he had been spurned by a girl. Bit mental. – Lee, Aberystwyth

Night night

Night night

An unsuccessful shower

I was washing my hair when suddenly the water went from clear to brown and chunky with a strange smell. I had to go to the campus shop with conditioner still in my hair, buy some bottled water, and get my flat mate to pour it over my head so I could still make my lecture. Turns out it was rust from the very old boiler tank… – Lucy, Sussex

Scented bath bombs

Every hall in our building had a bath. Someone kept going round and taking a shit in all of them. We still to this day have no idea who it was. – Cameron, Stirling

Period in the sink

My entire family were visiting and went to use the bathroom in halls. My mum went last and told me quietly it needed cleaning – my flat mate had left her underwear with her period on it in the sink, with blood splashed everywhere. Like literally on the walls. – Emma, Leicester

Unreal banter

Unreal banter

The tale of the naked cider girl

There was a girl in my halls who was known as the 'naked cider girl' as on the first days of freshers she answered the door naked to her neighbours with a cider in hand. – Rose, Leeds

The classic weird flatmates

My weird flatmates put up a sign saying they'd fine me £1 every time I used their milk and throw any dishes away if they weren't washed in 24 hours. They labelled their toilet paper because they didn't want to share it as well. – Hannah, York