The definitive list of everything to say to a Northerner (if you want to get decked)

Do you want some chips with your gravy lol


Here's another article chronicling the North/South divide.

It seems like we've had them all, but ask yourself: what has it all been for if we still don't understand each other?

I found some northerners and spoke to them to see how we can become one nation, united despite our differences when it comes to what we put on our chips.

Why are you talking funny?

"Did you just use ‘duck’ as a term of affection?" – Abbie, Newcastle

"About time someone covered my people's struggles! I’d say the most annoying thing is having every fifth word I say repeated back in the most over the top impression with about five too many syllables put in for good measure, just so I know for certain how funny I sound." – John, Sunderland

"I mostly get stuff like 'you talk funny' and 'why do you miss out words when you speak?"– Naomi, Cheshire

"What does 'graft' mean?" – Abbie, Newcastle

"Bath doesn't have an 'r' in it you know." – Will, Hull

Do you want a cup of dinner with your tea lol

"'Tea is a drink not a meal.' Sorry love, incorrect." – Naomi, Cheshire

"Yeah, don't call dinner supper when you're around me." – Rachel, Preston

"Isn’t dinner what you have in the evening, not at lunch? So boring." – Abbie, Newcastle

My cousin is from Manchester, do you know her?

"Being referred to as a Geordie, there's nothing worse when you're actually from the Sunderland area, or just anywhere that isn't Newcastle." – John, Sunderland

"One thing that proper annoys me is when some people think Birmingham, and other places near that, are northern." – Richard, Manchester

"They think every northerner knows each other." – Richard, Manchester

"When someone disrespects the Moors or the Dales I get pretty angry like. Don’t talk smack about my beloved Yorkshire countryside." – Ben, York

"When I'm told I sound more southern when I return home to visit family and friends, that hurts." – Rachel, Preston

"Everything north of London is the North if you think about it." – Will, Hull

What do you mean you don't call it a bread roll?

"So is it a roll, a bap, a teacake or a bread cake?" – Abbie, Newcastle

"'Could you pass me a bread roll?' Not sure what that is but you can have a barm cake." – Jess, Manchester

"What's chuddy?" – Rob, Doncaster

"This one always baffles me, but some people from the south ask me what Greggs is?! I don't really understand how anyone from the south can have avoided the cultural icon that is Greggs by this point." – Rachel, Preston

"I don't know what Cooplands is." – Rob, Doncaster

"'What's a lemon top?' They're really missing out." – Abbie, Newcastle

"I just love pies and southerners don't get it." – Richard, Manchester

Why do you love gravy so much?

"Whenever I go to a chippy down south, I make my order and then the reply I always get is: 'Sorry, we don't do gravy and chips.' It's inexcusable really." – Rachel, Preston

"Yep, this is the classic, my friends always ask me why I'm putting gravy on my chips. They also have no idea what scraps are." – Abbie, Newcastle

How can you be warm? It's freezing!

"There's the seasonal annoyance, every autumn and winter, where people ask if the wind and rain 'remind me of home'. Or, if being further south at uni is 'practically a holiday' for me compared to the barren wasteland a huge 70 miles north where I come from." – John, Sunderland

"People always love to tell me how grim the north is. Sorry, have you seen the lakes?" – Rachel, Preston

"'It’s not hot, it's only 26°C.' Sorry that I'm not used to living on the surface of the sun." – Abbie, Newcastle

"You’re not wearing a coat? We’re going clubbing though…" – Abbie, Newcastle

Why are you so friendly to everyone?

"Posh, southern boys love to tell me how brilliant Margaret Thatcher was for the UK…" – Naomi, Cheshire

"'Did you just smile at that stranger?' It's always slightly depressing when I go down south and no-one thanks the bus driver when they get off. I think that's really sad." – Abbie, Newcastle

"'Do you know Peter Kay?' Just because I live near Bolton doesn't mean I personally know the guy." – Jess, Manchester

"To be fair, if you're southern you probably shouldn't say anything to a northerner because we think you're all weird." – Rob, Doncaster