Domino’s just revealed how many calories are in their garlic and herb dip and now I hate myself

Sometimes the spin off is better than the main original product, it’s a fact. Like, Diet Coke is just better than Coke, Dragon Ball Z is an infinitely greater artistic creation than the original Dragon Ball, and the only reason you’re buying any pizza from Domino’s is because of that garlic and herb dip.

The garlic and herb dip is more than a side dish, it’s part of our current zeitgeist, it’s an important part of our collective cultural experience. It contains SIX HUNDRED AND SEVENTY FIVE CALORIES.

Well, a big dip pot does at least (and that’s obviously the one you’re getting). The small ones, presumably purchased by n00bs and weaklings, contain 169 calories each, which, considering how many I’ve consumed in my lifetime, is still enough to make me want to slowly peel my face off and scream into the void.

The Domino’s garlic and herb dip has more calories than a Big Mac, the garlic and herb dip has more calories than a large fries, the garlic and herb dip has more calories than a Pizza Hut pepperoni pizza. Everything I know and hold dear has been shaken to its very foundations. Does it shock and frighten me? Yes. Will it make me stop eating five of them a day? No.

In a statement Domino’s representative Abbey Everett told The Sun: “Our garlic & herb Big Dip is great for sharing with family and friends, and we recommend each party size should serve at least four people. Single size pots are also available at 169 cals each.

“We’re committed to providing transparent nutritional information on our website and via our app, to enable customers to make informed decisions”.

Anyone who shares this with three other people is a fool and a liar.