Look at these bizarre ruffle legwarmer jeans and tell me that fashion hasn’t gone too far and now there’s no going back

These too can be yours for just f i v e h u n d r e d d o l l a r s

I am honestly so tired of the extra nature of modern day jeans. Every week there is a new denim monstrosity, competing with the others to be the most reviled online. First there were the mom jeans with the clear knees. Those were weird. Then there was the completely plastic see through jeans, and those were quite weird too. And now, with the inevitability of the passing of time, there’s a new pair of jeans to be angry over.

Here are some very difficult to describe but completely ridiculous legwarmer ruffle monstrosities, that can be yours for the small price of just $470 (so cheap, I know)! Ssense, a site which sells “luxury” items from “independent” designers, lists the jeans as “navy extra long fold” which is kind of a misnomer because it lulls you into a false sense of normalcy. Oh they’re just extra long jeans? Is what you’re now thinking. Oh just a pair of extra long jeans, what’s weird about that? I can dig it?

No. These jeans look like foreskin. These jeans look like legwarmers. These jeans look like squirty cream. These jeans – which look like they might belong to a primitive manga character – will cost you $500. If you allow them to convince you this is normal, where do we go next? It’s a slippery slope, and it ends, at the bottom, with you wearing these jeans in public thinking that it’s completely normal to look like a denim accordion. Don’t be fooled.

Is this my life now? I just write about each new, slightly crazier pair of jeans until denim finally relinquishes its stranglehold on our aesthetic, or I die? Because to be honest, I’m kind of alright with that.