People who don’t kiss after head are WEAK

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People who don’t kiss after head are WEAK

I’ve just sucked you off can you give me some goddamn respect and kiss me

When the great purge comes to this world, after Trump has pulled the trigger on our impending nuclear holocaust, after World War Three and natural selection have diminished our population, the weakest will go first. These include: slow walkers, people who always have a cracked phone screen, and boys who won’t kiss you after you give them head – the weakest of the weak.

Seeing whether your sexual partner will kiss you after you give them a blowjob is the great test of character that every relationship will face. You slowly rise up from putting in an absolute show for fifteen minutes plus – complete with gagging, slurping and watery eyes for effect – and you meet eyes. Both of you know what is going to happen. You are going to come back up to head level, and try to kiss them. And you are going to judge them on how they react.

If they flinch, move away or attempt to divert your attentions with one of those tell-tale test-the-waters kisses on the cheek or the neck instead, then they are W E A K. If they directly tell you that they’re not going to kiss your post-oral mouth, then they are both W E A K and M E A N. Both of these people you should remove from your life immediately. They won’t be able to protect you, they don’t have a strong enough stomach to handle you. They are weak and you don’t need them wasting your time.

Get yourself a man who will kiss you after you go to down on his genitals. Get yourself someone who is strong enough not to recoil or wipe your mouth when you kiss them after head. Women’s magazines will not tell you this, but this, and only this, will help you find someone truly worth your time and emotional investment.