Can anyone out there tell me why the internet is suddenly so obsessed with eating ass?

Look, first of all – because everytime there’s a new sex thing on the internet to write about people spam my Twitter DMs with abuse about my apparently vanilla tastes – there’s absolutely no kink shaming here.

I’m not here for that. You rusty trombone to your heart’s delight if that’s what you’re into, go for it. It’s not that I’m weirded out by that per say, but you’d be the first to admit that the internet has it’s odd obsessions, and at the moment that obsession is eating ass.

Jokes about eating ass are, in terms of mainstream appeal, becoming the new impact text memes. People now joke about eating ass with the casual regularity with which they tag sweet older relatives in dog videos on Facebook. Eating ass is a part of our life on the internet now, and I’m not sure if a world where that happens is a world I want to live in.

Like most strange internet trends which make me feel uncomfortable out of touch and old, it first became apparent through memes and the filth that people inevitably post on Twitter.

But look, this isn’t just a meme article. I know what you’re thinking, oh it’s just an excuse to post a bunch of funny memes about eating ass: NO. This is scientific. Look at this screenshot, as evidence, of the lowkey popularity growth of the term ‘eating ass’ over time on Google – yeah, the biggest search engine in the goddamn world. 

OK, still not convinced? Let’s take a look then, at some of the biggest online publishers in the game – except babe of course. What are they writing about when they write about sex? What’s the cutting edge of sexual content for internet writers. Well –

I should mention at this point that I don’t have the answers. I don’t know why this is the latest thing the internet is obsessed with, but one man who confessed to the above groundbreaking article from Thought Catalog perhaps sums it up best: “Life is short, we’re running out of taboos”.

As our leaders sanction airstrikes on Syria and we edge ever closer to the inevitable World War Three, eating ass is just the latest thing to be appropriated by heterosexual normies on the internet and translated into a mainstream, meme based joke. This is what life is going to be like before the ever-closer atomic bomb war wipes us the internet and humanity, and we enter a neverending post-apocalyptic nuclear winter.

Either that or jokes about eating ass are just quite funny.

@rosielanners