The most mind-numbingly irritating people on a night out, according to club photographers
‘This isn’t a photo shoot for a cover on Vogue’
Club photographers capture the highs and lows of every night out, no matter what they have to go through in the process. Which is probably a lot. Like, for real, I bet their nights out taking pics are a lot worse than our nights out getting drunk. We sat down with two such photographers, Connor Griffin from CJG Photography, and Joe Brook from ItsJustJoeB Photography, to see what things clubbers do that just really piss them off.
People who won’t get off their phone
CJG: Everyone is beautiful, it’s cool that people have fun getting dressed up and dancing. That being said, I will often enjoy having a good laugh to myself watching the gurners chewing their lips off and the people failing to lip sync to the music while recording themselves on Snapchat. That’s one of the more bizarre mentalities I can’t quite seem to comprehend, one second I’ll see a group of girls standing in an emotionless circle, but as soon as Snapchat is out, they’ll all come alive for 10 seconds, then snap back to being emotionless when it’s over. It’s really quite a strange sight, some people need to learn how to have a good time without a phone.
People who grab the camera are ‘the absolute worst’
CJG: So you’ve got a few different types going here. The absolute worst of the bunch are the ones who grab my camera, I’m working with expensive equipment, and it’s how I earn my money. Then you’ve got the super dolled up girls who tell me either they look too fat, too pale, too this, too that, and want constant revisions. This isn’t a photo shoot for a cover on Vogue. There are occasionally just rude folk, I’ve had a girl punch me in the head, and some guys shove me, which rustles the feathers, but that’s pretty mild stuff in comparison to what other club photographers have had.
People who tap you to get your attention
ItsJustJoeB: The people who tap, tap, tap, and tap you to get your attention even though you are blatantly taking someone else’s photo. The people who kick you get your attention. After six years I just now kick people back. I relish the day I recognise someone in their day job who kicked me for my attention to do it back whilst they stack a shelf in Aldi or something. People who tap you to get your attention, with the same had they have their drink in, resulting in vodka and Redbull all over your clothes, or worse, camera. You have a hand free! Those that pose with that shite champagne promoters give out free like its a bottle of Dom Perignon. People who get your attention then proceed to round up their mates from the four corners of the club.
Drunk people who are desperate for you to take a photo of them
CJG: It doesn’t annoy me when people ask for a photo of their squad, the majority of the time I’m there to fulfil that request, however if I refuse to take your photo, it’s either because it’s not in my brief to capture squad photos, or you’ve just caught me at a bad time and I have my gear setup for different types of photos. Often I’ll be walking around without a flashgun because I’m trying to capture atmosphere shots, it’s so hard to explain that to drunk students and I’ll take a few insults from turning them down. I’ve learnt to just walk away, also saves me a face full of saliva, drunk people seem to be such wet talkers.
People who flash
CJG: I get a lot of people pulling on my shirt, I get shoved around with the crowd, occasionally I’ll get insulted, but that’s just clubbing, people are drunk, whatever. I’m most likely to walk away from people who feel like getting their testicles or chesticles out, sometimes I’ll be going through the photos at home and I’ll catch a sly dick photobomb, and I guess that’s kind of funny, the whole element of surprise. However, if I catch someone doing it in the moment, I’m out of there.
People who try to use your camera or request songs
Bottle posers, girls (and more so guys now I’ve noticed more and more) who take one photo, adjust their hair etc., take another, and repeat several times. Sometimes they pose exactly the same, a little thing I know a few of us photographers do is just set the flash off and then show them the same photo again, which they then like without realising. The line “I study photography” followed by someone trying to tell you how to do your job is my biggest pet peeve. Like, this is my full time job, I know what I’m doing. Usually followed by “Can I have a go, I’m a photographer”. If you are a photographer you’d know you don’t ask to use someone else’s camera, that little black box stays in my hand. It puts a roof over my head and food on the table. One of the venues I work for is music driven and I take most of my photos from a stage at the front. Every week without fail someone asks me either to ask the DJ to do a shout out or request a tune. Look you’ve come here to listen to whatever the DJ wants. If you want to request Beyonce and shoutout, go to Yates!
Photos by ItsJustJoeB Photography and CJG Photography