Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme, clubbers of the week

The dashing prince who turned you away during a storm is in this

You know what’s coming, right? You clicked on the article, so you must – it’s time for the best clubbers in the UK this week.

No-one’s slick as these guys, no-one’s quick as these guys, no-one’s neck’s as incredibly thick as these guys. Don’t believe us? Take a peek below!

Love triangle of the week

Only one of them can win the man with the luscious hair

So essentially you have to catapult the bird into the pigs, causing maximum damage

But why?

Master must find love if I ever hope to turn back into a real clubber again!

He may seem mean but the master is not as terrible as he seems

When you immediately regret throwing that flare

I’ve made a huge mistake

My face when someone offers me one of their Pringles

Don’t mind if I DO

Your dad’s golfing trip to Marbella is going well

There’s no stopping Tony and the lads once they’ve got a few jars down them

When you lean in for the kiss and she kisses someone else

Guess I’ll cry

How Italians go clubbing

Mi piace il VK Blue

The guy in the background couldn’t get lean in 15

It’s haunted him ever since

 Master must find true love’s kiss before the last petal falls or I’ll remain a cupcake forever!

Perhaps it is this comely maiden – perhaps it is she who will break the spell

Didn’t realise your mum and dad were out tonight

Your dad looks like a horse

Anyway, got to go, shagging to do!

Have a good weekend, losers!