Is it just me or does literally every girl have the middle name Louise? Trying to figure this out

Obviously the popularity of names is dependent on where you were born, and when. For instance growing up in the mid-90s growing up, I was one of three Roisins in my class – Roisin M, Roisin K, Roisin L – and there were like, six Amys. Nowadays every time one of my Facebook friends has a child it’s invariably called Noah or Ava (sometimes India).

But there is one constant in life and it’s that every girl you know has the middle name Louise. The middle name Louise transcends all differences which divide us as women. We might be old young big or little but at some point since birth we’ve probably put Louise in our Facebook name admit it.

Trawling through cringe mother and baby websites tells me this much: Louise (meaning “famous warrior”) has always been a pretty common name. In 1991 100 million girls were named Louise. In 1995 it was 136. And that’s only forenames.

Don’t be mean to your mum about this, I’m just saying, like, she could have gone further. But they didn’t have the internet back then, not really. It’s chill.

There is but one exception to the Twilight Zone-esque Louise phenomenon, and that is Rose. If you are a woman, in the UK especially, born in the early to mid-90s, probably white, and your middle-and-or-Facebook name isn’t Louise, then the reason why – get ready for some near-clairvoyant skills of deduction here – is that your middle name is Rose. I know, right, I’ve got a gift.

So yeah, in 1991 Rose was pretty popular too (475 million girls named Rose). In 1995 it was still going strong (445 million). It’s also the middle name of Emma Roberts, Princess Margaret, McKayla Maroney (the Olympics meme girl) and every girl you still have on Facebook from when you were in primary school together.

Obviously, because it’s the internet and negativity is inevitable, most people who have noticed this phenomenon have automatically decided it’s because girls with these names are “basic”. It’s unsurprising – anything which girls have in common will eventually be called basic by the internet – but disappointing because, call me basic all you want but don’t subtly make fun of my mum and her choices.

Anyway though, these people are wrong. The Louise Rose Phenomenon (as I’m dubbing it for when people quote this work of genius in academic papers) isn’t basic. It’s funny. It’s fodder for small talk when you’re in a room full of girls you don’t know without any alcohol to make you brave enough to make friends. Here’s a thing you have in common: you’ve all got the middle name Rose or Louise. The sisterhood is saved. Bond.