Hello, it’s me, I was wondering if you’d like to see the clubbers of the week?
Two Adele puns. Two. That’s not only more than there should be in any article ever, but it’s more than you deserve.
Anyway, since I’ve spunked my two funniest before the intro’s even over, we may as well get this over with. Here are the best clubbers in the UK this week.
And the Oscar for best hair and makeup goes to…
I mean basically
Anyone else here got an iPhone looool
loooool join the club loool
When the self checkout machine asks you if you have a Nectar card
What I think I look like in selfies
What I actually look like in selfies
I don’t remember Qui-Gon ever doing that to Darth Maul???
You and I must have watched a very different movie
All the white boys with a short back and sides MAKE SOME NOOOISE
The roof, the roof, the roof is intact
When you’re really, really good at counting how many girls are standing next to you
And they said private school was a waste of money
There is absolutely nothing problematic about this photo
Nothing to see here, just your average Leeds University student
Move along now
Ah, Ryan Gosling accepting an Oscar from Ryan Gosling while Ryan Gosling looks on
These men want to sell you some moonshine for a couple of bucks
Pops said he wanted them to shift it lickety-split
What’s that, Lassie? There’s a vintage kilo sale?
I’ll be right back
When your mates tell you Slash from Guns N’ Roses is a vegetable
You’re the ones who ruined the theme
When your mum texts you saying ‘you boys better be home by midnight’
Fuk the rulez
When your tiny imaginary friend starts choking
There there Kenneth
When you’ve literally never encountered any kind of barrier before
We don’t have these in Shropshire
When you find out your microbrewed IPA has been filtered through isinglass
You, my friend! You must come viz us on our expedition to ze Arctic!
Come now – we have not a moment to lose