Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, it’s the clubbers of the week

Every week I bring you the best clubbers in the UK, and every week you say nothing. No comments, no emails – no thanks for the things I do for you. It hurts.

Do you even read this bit? Do you even care? Come on, man. Here’s the jazziest, snazziest clubbers in the country.

At least fucking tweet me if you enjoy them.

To kick things off, here’s a shark man with a pitcher of vomit

Pretty sure two of these guys are Photoshopped in

I actually feel much better after being sick so much

Didn’t realise your family were visiting this weekend

I’m sorry, mate. No boots, no cats, no entry.

Someone get this girl some reading glasses

Just three shillings, sir, and we’ll show you some tantalising ankle

The Riddler will be telling no riddles for you tonight

They’ve just seen your naked body

Two strippergrams? For me!?

GIRLS FURLS EELS AYE

When you realise it’s not 1980

Bonus round: Men jizzing themselves on the dancefloor

Yes, glorious master, I will do your bidding without question

When you think about how many people you’ve let die because you love clubbing so much