David Beckham is a national treasure and he can call someone a cunt if he wants to

I have had enough of the tabloids in this godforsaken country. I can handle the made up stories about homeless men sucking off dogs for Quavers. I can handle the phone hacking to be honest. But I cannot handle the British papers trying to make David Beckham sound like a dickhead over his leaked emails.

Imagine you were David Beckham, right. Imagine you’d gone through years of reinvention, become a global charitable ambassador, and still hadn’t gotten an OBE. I don’t know about you, but if that was me, I don’t think I’d be entirely unreasonable in looking for someone to call a cunt over it. Obviously you’d complain. It’s human nature when you don’t get what you’re owed, and the man is owed a knighthood.

It’s absurd that collectively we’re pretending that it’s not entirely normal to react the way David Beckham did. If I’d been passed over for a professional award and Katherine Jenkins got it over me, of course I’d send a sneaky email to a mate complaining about “singing at the rugby and going to see the troops plus taking coke. Fucking joke”. If I worked as hard as David Beckham at cultivating my nice guy done good image for decades, I’d probably have the same attitude.

If it’s not a knighthood obviously fuck off.

Also, David Beckham’s been through a lot. We all remember when he was dragged through the mud for that sarong he wore in the nineties. Or when Alex Ferguson threw that boot at him, presumably unprovoked. And that time he got sent off during the 98 World Cup and England lost (ha ha ha). At the time Tony Blair said, without irony: “Well he’s going to have to learn from this”.

And learn he has.

He’s come out the other side of that. He’s still married to Victoria and none of his kids have gone Rocco Richie or 2007 Britney off the rails. He’s repented for the sins of the past (primarily allegedly Rebecca Loos and latterly the sarong). He’s become a national treasure and tbh he deserves a break. Even UNICEF defended his email leak where he supposedly trashed them. They said: “As generously giving his time, energy and support to help raise awareness and funds for UNICEF’s work for children.”

Do not let this ruin David Beckham for you. David Beckham is a nice kind man. And he deserves a fucking knighthood you cunts.