It’s time to end handjob snobbery

There seems to be a stigma about the stick twist. That a boy would rather do it themselves rather than have a hand from a rather generous partner. They turn their nose up at the thought of cumming through the knuckle shuffle, rather than anything more ‘intimate’. But these people are sex snobs. And should be happy they’re getting some anyway.

In defense of the ‘handy’, the simplicity of the affair is what incites its intimacy. Laying on your side with your partner in hand brings back nostalgia of school, sitting at desks, rubbing a rather warm groin, daring to, but dared not go any further, whilst a strict teacher turns their back to write on the whiteboard.

But handjobs are not just for teenagers, or virgins, they’re not just about that rush of excitement during school. Think about it, the handjob in bed has the exact same exhilarating effect. To not go all the way saves a sexuality, a sensuality, a tease, as her hand slides up your shaft and you tingle whilst breathing heavily into her mouth. Doesn’t that sound sexual? Doesn’t that sound enjoyable? And doesn’t quite sound like the PG13 sticker we all associate with handjobs.

The handjob has stuck with us from our younger years and damn well deserves a place in any adult portfolio. The two-handed, one-handed, reach-around, the slot-squat. The possibilities are endless and the joy of the event should be played with and explored rather than simply dismissed.

The benefits of being a sexually active adult comes with an adventurous attitude, when things get a bit handsy. Because why should a handjob be refrained to just the main member, if the snobs worry that the handy is just a bit bland, they could always ‘point’ their partners hand to a hole-in-one, or simply suggest a bit of ball-play. We forget that the possibilities are endless.

Also please remember that you might just be too big for your partner to handle. The only way around pleasuring you might just be to get a grip, rather than choke, or rip. I’d hate to build egos, but think about it. Please don’t think this is the only reason, but this is definitely a possibility. Hopefully that changes your knob snobbery, without blowing your ego.

Obviously, not every girl is overly promiscuous and some are perfectly happy with a humble handjob without further pursuit. And boys, you should be damn right grateful that she’s even willing. The worst thing in sex is to push someone out of their depth by expecting more and expectations being let down.

Of course, the tug-of-love isn’t quite as simple as ‘grip and rip’. We all fear the handjob from hell. The pain as she aggressively pulls back and vigorously ‘pleasures’ you whilst you simply wince, wondering if she’s pulled your manhood off – rather than pulling you off – scary, I know.

But if you were to just explain the situation, perhaps ask her to slow down, perhaps grab some moisturiser. Tell her what you like just as you expect us to tell you what we like: to keep a pace, keep it moist, grab the balls, whatever: then I highly doubt your partner will be in uproar that you don’t want to dismember your member. Then its happy endings all round.

Most importantly though, sex is only fun if all partners are having fun. So, think about it this way, if you’re pushing your partner out of their depth by expecting more, that’s just not going to be fun. Equally it won’t be fun for her if you’re sitting there with a sulk on, despite being tugged off.