Everything useful I know in life I learned from The Hills


Following on from Laguna Beach, then ultimately destroyed by the likes of TOWIE and MIC, The Hills was the hallmark of reality TV. From fuckboys to frenemies, break-ups to weddings, here’s everything that The Hills managed to teach our younger selves, and how it prepared us for the years to come. 

Even your best friends can fuck us over

Echoes of Lauren Conrad’s infamous “YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID!” outburst still rings in our ears whenever a friend starts acting shady. Remember when Heidi stuck by Spencer’s side among the allegations that he had started the sex-tape rumour? It was the biggest friendship meltdown of  2007 and warned us that even our friends can choose boys over you.

Lauren Conrad ugly cried and it made it okay for us to ugly cry

Before Kim Kardashian’s ugly crying face, there was Lauren Conrad’s. Her friendship with Audrina had broken down when her, Lo and Audrina moved in together. She showed no shame in letting her mascara, eyeshadow and liner stream down her cheeks. She dgaf and neither should we.

Never choose a boy over a career

We all loved LC but held our heads in our hands when she chose to spend the summer in Malibu with fuckboy Jason over an internship in Paris with TeenVogue. From then on she was then known as “the girl that didn’t go to Paris,” by her boss. Don’t be that girl, always go to Paris.

Someone will always be promoted over you for no reason

When Heidi heard that Elodie was going for a promotion at Bolthouse she said that there was no reason why she shouldn’t get the job too. Maybe because you’re still the new girl? You don’t have as many qualifications? You haven’t done the groundwork? Still Elodie was pushed aside and Heidi was promoted for literally no reason at all.

Even the people who look like they have it together, don’t

Whitney was the beautiful, calm TeenVogue intern who didn’t seem to attract drama and just gave us all a nice break.

She was a favourite of Lisa Love and her career in fashion was taking off, quite literally, when she fell down the stairs on Good Morning America. She cried, Lauren cried, we all cried. Poor Whitney was thrown in as a last minute model only to fall straight on her bum on live TV.

Boys who can’t take jokes aren’t worth our time

Remember when Lo christened Audrina’s boyfriend with the nickname “Justin Bobby” and we all lost it? But instead of laughing along, he showed how boring and weird he really was and we all knew Audrina deserved better. Boys may be pretty but if they can’t take a joke, leave.

LC was the greatest friend you could ever have and taught us to always be the better person

She told Heidi that she was ready to “forgive her and forget her”, and so the most highly anticipated wedding of 2009 was accompanied with the anxiety of whether Lauren would show up.

She received the invite, politely said “no”, but eventually gave in because she was that good a friend. Yes, she went back to support the girl who chose a boy over their lifelong friendship and had an emotional reunion with Heidi moments before she walked down the aisle. 

One girl will always steal your moment

Just when you thought you could semi-enjoy Speidi’s wedding, since LC had given her friendship consent, Laguna’s Beach’s queen bitch Kristin Cavallari strutted down the aisle (literally), in the same colour dress as Lauren. No one knew why she was there, but The Hills bred drama so naturally Kristin came.