Women with big bums are more intelligent, says an actual scientific study

If you’ve spent much of your life dedicating yourself as much as possible to self-improvement and wondering just what it is that’s the key to making your life better, then rejoice! Because a new study says that for women, it’s all down to having a bigger ass.

Who knew it was this simple gals! Burn the degree, quit your job, the key to happiness has been your bum all along! At least, that’s what scientists at the Oxford University Centre for Diabetes, Endocrinology and Metabolism at Oxford University and the Churchill Hospital said. Their study found that women with big bums are increasingly intelligent and more resistant to chronic illnesses.

In fact it’s linked to a whole array of health benefits. Our big butts are linked to lower levels of cholesterol and can produce more hormones to metabolise sugar. Fat on the bum and upper thighs also contains tissue which prevents cardiovascular disease. And while it’s traditionally been something to panic about (help my bum is big in this ha ha), women with larger assets actually have more of the hormone which regulates weight, along with anti-inflammatory, vascular-protective and anti-diabetic attributes.

Supposedly, women with big asses are more intelligent because they have more Omega 3 fats (the stuff you need to get a big bum in the first place) which are shown to catalyse brain development. Better still, we can pass these, our best attributes along to our offspring – the scientist behind the study also found that children born to women with big hips were more intelligent.

Lead researcher Konstantinos Manolopoulos explained: “Fat around the hips and thighs is good for you but around the tummy is bad.”

Oh great, for a second I thought I wouldn’t have to worry about fat anymore.

@rosielanners