Ah ha! Here are the best clubbers in the UK this week
I knew I’d left them around here somewhere
Bobby PalmerThe past is history; tomorrow’s a mystery. But today? Well, today’s the day we show you the best clubbers in the UK this week.
Yep, it’s that time you’ve been waiting for – so get the kettle on, get the curtains drawn and settle in for another week of straight-up debauchery.
Mad Twatter of the week
You know, Mad Twatter. From Skins. Fuck I’m old
4-for-1 polo shirt deal of the week
Fashion for real men
Ah, I see you’ve come as my favourite film, 11 Dalmations
I’ve always preferred Oceans 1 though
‘Twas supposed to be I who ate the Gingerbread Man
So spake the sly old fox
Take us with you, sweet lord!
Take us to the mystic land of Azeroth!
Captain Morgan is pretty disappointing in real life
Well they do say never to meet your heroes
Grandma’s funeral was getting pretty loose
Get the sambucas in lads!
Oh Harambe, you always loved golf
I’ll see you on that big putting green in the sky, old friend
Aaron, it’s meant to be a girls photo
Don’t you give me that look young man
Look! Your dad and his mates are on their golf trip in Marbella!
Lock up your esposas, right
We shall offer you this trinket and allow you on your way, good sir
It is the Staff of the Living Tribunal and its power is unparalleled
When your girlfriend buys you a new vest so you feel obliged to wear it
No babe I really like it
Alright, who took my shirt buttons?
Very funny guys
WHY DID YOU STAB ME!?
THIS ISN’T SOMETHING TO SMILE ABOUT
You stole that drink, didn’t you
Now put it back and think about what you’ve done
And through it AAAAAALLLLLLLLLL
SHE OFFERS ME PROTECTION
Wait, so Prince Hans was evil all along?
But I genuinely thought he loved Princess Anna
Everything Jack O’Connell has been up to since breaking all our hearts as Cook in Skins
Rebecca MurphyHe’s now starring in the new Amy Winehouse biopic Back To Black
From absolute legends to losers, the definitive ranking of Coachella’s biggest headliners
Aaron EdwardsThere’s been the best of shows, there’s been the worst of shows
Emily Smith
Tori has finally spilled what her friendship status is now with the other MAFS Australia girls
Harrison Brocklehurst‘What those girls did to me was not friendship’
Madeleine complains that her MAFS Australia edit made her look like a ‘batsh*t crazy b*tch’
Francesca EkeThe psychic medium said that producers ‘pushed on a relationship topic that she didn’t want to go into’
MAFS Australia bride says groom broke up with her ‘out of the blue’ and won’t reply to her
‘He won’t reply to me. He hasn’t replied’
A body language expert says Jack and Tori are lying about having sex on MAFS Australia
‘Do I think they had proper sex? No’
Everything Eden and Jayden have been up to since their messy run on MAFS Australia
Apparently they broke up FOUR TIMES after filming finished
This is why everyone thinks Taylor Swift’s song thanK you aIMee is about Kim Kardashian
The title literally spells out KIM!!
All the savage Matty Healy lyrics Taylor Swift sings on The Tortured Poets Department
‘They shake their heads and say God help her when I tell them he’s my man’
Richard Gadd speaks about how similar Baby Reindeer’s Martha actually is to his real stalker
Phoebe KowhaiShe did actually send him over 41,071 emails and leave 350 hours of voicemails
Student at £43,000 a year private school ‘smashed the skulls’ of two students with hammer
The 17-year-old also tried to kill a teacher in ‘horrific attack’
Ellie Ring
What have Timothy and Lucinda been up to since their MAFS Australia 2024 homestay fight?
They’re still besties!
Here’s where to watch Richard Gadd next if you’re obsessed with Netflix’s Baby Reindeer
He’s in a police show with Stephen Graham!
Digs at Davide to Lorraine Kelly drama: What Ekin-Su has been up to since Celeb Big Brother
Iona MacRobertShe’s been in the headlines a lot lately
After their tense homestay, are Jack and Tori still together after MAFS Australia 2024?
I need answers immediately
Yikes! A snippet of Taylor Swift’s new album has allegedly leaked and people are SLATING it
‘We declared Charlie Puth should be a bigger artist’ is an actual lyric
Inside the life of Walton Goggins, the Fallout ghoul everyone is weirdly crushing on
Lily ColdstreamYes, it’s possible to thirst after a man who looks like a carved pumpkin