Calling me a princess is not a compliment

After a night out I sacrificed my bed to my newly single mate and crashed on the sofa – y’know because that’s what friends do.

In the morning I was hungover and quietly threw my clothes, sunglasses and make-up on before leaving to pay an alcohol debt. I was not at my best.

I’m standing in the shop and a bartender comes in, still drunk from the night before, and remarked: “oh my god you look like a princess”. It’s something people anticipate as flattery or a compliment. And ever since we were little girls we’ve been encouraged to construct our identity around lurid pink clothes emblazoned with tiaras.

But this is not realistic – it is demeaning to everything the average woman stands for. We just don’t lead our life in the structured and sheltered way of the monarch. We live for our own freedom, we schedule our own lives.

Doubt Kate’s diary looks this good

We don’t need to perpetuate the rule of patriarchy just because the flick of your nose, curve of your back, or shape of your brows would suit a tiara. We’re more than that. My style follows the lines of denim shorts, festival glitter, and puke in my hair. I am not dainty, precious and in need of constant protection and monitoring – especially when I can do that all myself.

In all honesty I can sleep around with whoever I want and Queen Liz wouldn’t care if I eloped with an Arabian prince. So why should you?

The night before the offense I downed 7 VKs, 2 Sambucas, 3 Koppabergs, 2 Jagers and bottle of wine. And yelled from my third floor window at some drunken boys causing a scene. Hardly the behaviour of a ‘princess’ – and definitely not the picture of Repunzel trapped in a castle.

If I lost my shoes on a night out I would skip over glass, avoid the muck on the floor and dance through puddles. I would never need a man to hoist me up and carry me to my door when my feet work just fine. A man doesn’t kiss me awake in the morning after a long slumber – my alarm shrieks at me to get up and get on with my day – and I love it.

Women need to stop being portrayed as these creatures of meek character, who subordinate themselves to the ‘problem-solving man’. When in reality I’m sure we’ve all dated men that cause many many more problems than they’re capable of fixing.

We need to grasp our independence whilst we still have it and take ownership of the mistakes we make in our lives. We don’t need this ‘picture of perfection’ attached to us because not only is it unrealistic but it’s telling us we shouldn’t be happy we who we are. Well fuck that.

Sunglasses – not a crown

I don’t live in a tower. I live in a shitty flat in a city centre. If I am a ‘princess’ I’m one who has abdicated from her constrained position of power to live in the real world with real power. To be grounded. To actually make a contribution of my time and effort, not merely money, into making this world a better place.

By giving anyone a title based on looks, people completely ignore their backstory. And this title in particular gives a man, be it a king or a prince, power over everything you do. And it gives you power over everyone else. Well that’s just not me, if I wanted a castle I’d build it myself. I don’t need a man to give me wings. Hell I don’t even need a man to give an orgasm.

I will no longer let someone tell me I should be guarded, cushioned, secured, saved when I’m perfectly capable to do all this myself. We should no longer be objectified to someone else’s perspective.

I would never want to be an in-need-of-rescue princess when I can be an unconventional, realistic maverick who takes pride in her day-to-day life.