Naive freshers, and their cute expectations of starting university

‘You can’t have a proper Freshers’ Week experience without getting truly floored at least once’


Young, innocent, blissfully unaware of the year of exhaustion, gone-off food and sheer regret that lay ahead. First year is daunting, but the first week made you want to be sick before you’d even got there. What if your flatmates were all weirdos? Worse, what if they were all really good looking? Your older brother told you silent discos were really twee, but there’s at least two in your week one schedule. What if you don’t pull? Will all the boys laugh at you? You already know how to use a library, you don’t need an induction there. And to top it off, Mum will embarrass you when she leaves you for the last time, as she cries out: “Don’t forget to wash your towels!”

But for the new troupe of first years, are they as clueless as they look? We’ve asked a select group of 18-year-olds from across the country what they think will be in store for them from when they arrive in Freshers’ Week.

Clubbing

Lila: I’m sort of not excited as all the freshers nights look kinda shit and not the sort of thing I’m into as it’s mainly chart music but I’ll see what happens. I’ll probably end up going anyway, it’s just a shame when there’s clubs with really good DJs in Glasgow and I won’t be going to them.

Prince: You can’t have a proper freshers week experience without getting truly floored at least once. There’ll be madness everywhere and people experimenting with things they’ve had zero experience of. Imagine the cooped up nerds being released into the den of freedom for the first time.

Katy: I am looking forward to going out and having a few drinks but am a bit anxious about starting conversation with new people. I’m looking forward to drinking but don’t want to be in a position where I want to stay sober and everyone else is drinking, I’ll feel uncomfortable.

Lewis: I do like going out and getting down to some funky beats but on the other hand I do love my sleep and quiet nights in so I’m not sure I’ll be able to handle going out every night, I’m a bit of a wetty! But I’m sure when I do go out it’ll be super fun! Especially if I’m at a cheesy club playing noughties sing-a-long classics!

Becky: I’m really excited to be around loads of new people but at the same time I will probably never see half of them ever again… all part of the fun though I guess. I do prefer a pub/spoons to clubbing, but that’s what country life does to you really (no clubs anywhere) long live the sesh.

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Lewis is going to UCL to study Natural Sciences

Drinking

Lila: I’m used to drinking quite a lot from going to festivals and stuff so it won’t be that different I just hope I don’t spend too much money. I’ll probably just eat loads of fry ups to cope with the hangovers.

Lewis: I think I’ll be fine with the amount of drinking, I’m never usually sick, but jäger bombs do make me hella queasy, I’ll just have to steal clear of them! I’ll cope just fine with hangovers I think, as long as coffee is a thing I’ll be fine.

Clare: The drinking is not a worry to me, a quick tactical chunder before I go to bed and I’ll be fine in the morning.

Becky: Gin or Disaronno are trustworthy drinks that don’t give me awful hangovers but the minute I hit the wine things are not ok. We’ll see how it goes.

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Clare is off to Canterbury Christ Church to study Primary Education

Societies/Freshers Fair

Joe: I’ve been skateboarding for four years (follow me on Instagram if you want) so I might sign up to that society at UCL. Other than that, I like the look of Squash, Badminton, Chess and Debating. The Marxism society also looks good, though I don’t know if it’s a joke or not…

Lewis: I’m thinking about signing up to the Beyonce Appreciation Society because Beyonce is queen and she slays and I love her so so much! I also want to join the student radio and maybe the drama society.

Lila: The only society I’m sure I’m joining so far is the ‘cheese society’ other than that I’ll have to wait till the freshers fair!

Prince: Anime (I’m still a nerd at heart really), Snowsport, Debate, Finance, a Martial Art and Cheese and Wine.

Food

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He already knows what cheesy chips are

Katy: Cooking should be fine I’m fairly used to cooking normal meals like lasagne and toad in the hole but time might be an issue meaning that I end up eating junk which I’m not mad about.

Rachel: I have some great student cook books called ‘Nosh for Students’ which I’ve been practicing with, tells you how much each meal will cost and how difficult it is and how long it takes.

Jessica: Super Noodles and Pot Noodles I’m terrible at cooking.

Prince: I had a cooking class when I was 10 or so, where I learnt all the fancy stuff. But in all honesty, my laziness will probably drive me to live on ready meals. For hangovers I would pig out on the standard night out repertoire of burgers and kebabs, but during the day try making a few staple recipes like sausage and mash.

Clare: I can’t really cook so I’ll probably just eat bagels and beans on toast.

Becky: I live on a farm with really busy parents so I’ve always known how to cook and do housework so it’s not too daunting, but I can guarantee I will live off crisps, toast and pizza for a considerable amount of time.

Relationships

Katy: I’ve been single my whole life so shouldn’t be much of an issue but am hoping to find someone.

Lewis: I am going to uni single which is good I guess because it means I have no barriers or anything so I can be a slut if I want which is good, but I’m more likely to be sleeping alone most nights which is also good, everything will be good (I hope).

Jessica: I’m in a relationship so won’t be going to uni single but will be using Skype to keep in contact with my boyfriend.

Prince: I’d rather be single going in than not, too many possibilities to ‘have fun’ would go missed otherwise.

Lila: I’m going to uni whilst in a relationship. We’ve been together four years so we’re staying together, we’ll be very far apart though.