Dear freshers, some sex advice from third years

You and your flatmates already share a dining room, don’t share crabs


The biggest myth about going to university is that everyone sleeps around and freshers halls are riddled with STIs, shame and suspicion. By third year, you know exactly what to expect from everything to one night stands to relationships. So The Tab asked third years from all round the country what advice they would give to this year’s group of freshers – about sex and what myths they can bust about having sex as a fresher.

Don’t sleep with your new housemates

Ellie, an English student from Bridgend thinks it’s best to avoid awkward ‘you alright?”s in the kitchen in your flat the morning after. “Just DON’T sleep with your new housemates. It doesn’t matter how fit they are or how many vodka lemonades they buy you, just do not do it. You’re already a small fish in a big pond you don’t need to deal with everyone seeing Jack from Leicester who is studying English and lives two doors down leaving your room in the early hours after a clumsy sesh. Yes, maybe it won’t be awkward – you’ll fall deeply in love, but you probably won’t. Rule of thumb: if you share a dining room with them then you shouldn’t bang them.”

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Ellie’s beer will give you better head than any one night stand x

Proud Sheffield student, Olivia, agrees and thinks it’s impossible to keep up a housemate relationship alongside an it’s only spooning relationship: “Don’t sleep with someone you live with, no matter how much you assume you can beat the odds. Also go wild, uni is unique for the freedom. You can sleep with who u want to (barring girlfriends/boyfriends) – have at it.”

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Sleepy Liv

No means no

Downpatrick born and bred, Penny, a Psychology student, thinks respect is the most important aspect of any sexual experience – regardless of what year you’re in at uni. “The biggest advice I can give is that no always means no. But if you want to have sex, have sex. Be safe, be respectful, get an STD check up three months after every new partner. If you’re a girl strongly consider contraceptives as well as condoms- taking a pregnancy test in the communal halls toilets isn’t the best way to spend a Thursday morning. Don’t be afraid to experiment. There’s more to life than missionary- just make sure it’s what you all want, and if you need a safe word, ‘bubbles’ is a good one. Biggest advice of them all: no means no.”

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Do what Penny says, Penny is always right

Always use contraception

Robbie from Birmingham believes that wrapping up is essential: “One of the most important thing is to be safe. I always wrap my tool if I’m meeting a new person or haven’t spoken to them much. Then when you know their history and trust them you can progress to riding bareback, because we all know it’s so much better. I also think it’s really important to take frequent tests if you plan on having casual relationships. I personally like freetest.me. Don’t have to be embarrassed by seeing a doctor but get pretty quick results for chlamydia. If I were to give only one tip it’d be to enjoy yourself, enjoy your youth and to take every opportunity given to you But do it all safely.”

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Just like Robbie – Poncho or sombrero? Just burrito your amigo

Do what you want, enjoy your newfound freedom

Marisa, from North London, takes a lighter approach to casual sex: “Fuck as much as you can while you’re in your buffest years. But don’t get chlamydia.”

Reece, from Manchester too, and studies Maths, wishes he just let go more in first year. “I’d probably tell myself to stop being a prude and just have sex with the fit guys that I fancied when I had the chance and not bother trying to look classy. However, since I’ve reclaimed my virginity and found myself waiting for the right guy.”

 

Sex isn’t that important

It can be easy to become obsessed with sleeping around, but Lucy, from Hampshire, argues there are so many myths around. “Everybody makes out like sex is this huge thing at university and it’s all you do and you’ll have the time of your life having sex 24/7. And that’s so unrealistic: yeah you might have more sex simply because there are more opportunities but most people I know have pretty dull sex lives. (Oh except my friend who had “the sex of her life” in halls). And quantity doesn’t mean the quality is good. Yeah, everyone is young and horny so you can experiment and have fun but generally it’s still a bit awkward after a one night stand and you still don’t talk to them for 6 weeks afterwards just like when you were you were younger. Sex feels less ‘dirty’ I suppose, no more weird experiences in fields a la sixth form days and all that. You can have it in a bed with no worries of parents / siblings etc.”

Yorkshire lad, Pejmon, thinks choice is everything. “My only advice I would give is if you go in to uni as a virgin, don’t just have sex for the sake of it and to get it done with. I was always sure I made the best decision waiting. I guess if they aren’t virgins, don’t fall into the trap of fucking a wannabe club rep with a six pack – because they are dicks.”

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Always stick by Coach Carr’s rules

Finally, on a lighter note, Nicki, who hails from Peterborough, thinks that if you don’t know whether to go through with something, just remember Coach Carr in ‘Mean Girls’: “Don’t have sex as you will get pregnant and die”.

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Mean Girls is always the way to go

“Mean girls has always been my guide throughout university.”