These new freshers nailed their uni stereotype, and they haven’t even started yet

A-level students across the country unanimously let out a sigh of relief as they all collected their results, whether they aced their exams or completely flopped, the world didn’t end and everything is okay.

The Tab went down to two lovely West London schools, Cardinal Vaughan and Waldegrave, both brimming with the brightest minds that middle-class London has to offer to chat to the incoming crowd of freshers who are still optimistic about their futures and don’t yet know what an overdraft looks like.

How did their exams go? Which universities are they going to? What do they think university will be like? Most importantly, will they be poppin’ bottles tonight to celebrate nailing that C4 maths paper?

Maria, A*AA and Kaija, A*AB, Bristol

“We’re both doing medicine. We’ve heard Bristol is fun and has a good party life but everyone has to have good grades. We’re really excited, I don’t know what to expect from freshers’ week but I bet it’s gonna be crazy with a lot of drinking.”

Finn, UCL

“I’m doing English. I’m excited about the nightlife, I picked London because it’s more interesting than anywhere else. Especially after the whole Brexit thing, I’ve just realised that everywhere outside of London is horrible. But yeah, I’m basically gonna get pissed all the time.”

Emma, Exeter and Michelle, Leeds

Michelle: “The social life in Leeds is really good apparently and I’m really happy with the course. We’ll get wasted all the time!”

Emma: “I’ve heard Exeter is full of Oxbridge rejects and that it’s really posh but really good… and full of hills.”

“We’re going clubbing tonight, literally anywhere.”

Edward, A*A*A, Oxford

“I’m doing engineering. If you haven’t heard about Oxford… well. It’s okay, it’s not bad. The nightlife is just much better than Cambridge. I’m gonna get pissed tonight and tomorrow night. Tonight will be the family ‘hooray’ and tomorrow I’m going out with friends.”

Pedro, BCD, Northampton (but doesn’t want to go)

“I got my second choice so I think I’m going to take a gap year. Loughborough was my first choice but I got into Northampton, but Northampton seems dry. Loughborough seems a bit lowkey as well so I didn’t really want to go there either. I’m going to reapply to Nottingham or Leeds, they have a vibe.

“At the moment the plan tonight is to go to Pryzm but Pryzm is not the one. AJ Tracey and Novelist are playing at XOYO tonight though, so I might go there.

“I think I want to go to America for my year out, save up for six months and then go to America. Then i’ll come back to do exams and then head off to uni.”

Orla, A*AB, Leeds

“I’m doing neuroscience. I’ve heard Leeds is a party town, I went up there to visit my friend and had an amazing time, we got fucked. Everyone there is so friendly and nice and I just love the life there. I’m really excited! I have no idea what I’m doing tonight, probably just getting smashed.”

Stas, Glasgow

“I’m really happy with my results. I think Glasgow is gonna be brilliant. Nightlife? Yeah, definitely, that’s my only goal. Although, I’m probably gonna miss my parents loads.”

Ciara (left), Bristol

“I’m going to do medicine. Not too sure what it’ll be like, I’m excited to find out. I just want to make friends and meet people. My sister is there and she said the nightlife is really good.”

Dylan, A*A*A*A*, Cambridge (Trinity College)

“I’m going to Trinity College to do natural sciences. I like the sound of the supervision system at Cambridge. It’s gonna be a lot of hard work. I’m definitely gonna get drunk tonight, we’re going to Piccadilly Institute.”

 Ostin, AABC and Lara, A*A*A* both Bristol

Lara: *crying too much to talk*

Ostin: “I’m doing physics. I’ve heard that Bristol’s really cool. The nightlife is sick. We’re going out clubbing tonight, probably gonna get wasted.”

Joseph, AAB, Manchester

“I’m studying economics and finance. I think Manchester will be quite lively. I swapped from Newcastle for the nightlife because I’ve heard it’s sick. I think it’s gonna be way better than London.”

Carolina, AAA, Leeds and Gretin, A*AA, Oxford

“Leeds is drug city. That’s it.”

“Oxford will be lots of work. The nightlife is not as vigorous as Leeds, better than Cambridge though.”

James, AA and distinction (in Music), Bristol

“I think I’m going to Bristol to study classics, but I haven’t checked UCAS yet. I’ve heard a lot of good things about Bristol. The nightlife sounds pretty wicked, I’ve heard there’s one huge club, but I can’t remember what it’s called.”

Callum, BBBC, Southampton

“I’m doing French, Italian and Portuguese. I haven’t heard much about Southampton, maybe we’ll just get drunk all the time.”

Kate, A*A*A, Oxford and Hattie, A*A*A, Cambridge

Katie: “Uni is going to be tough but hopefully fun. We’ll have really short terms so hopefully it’ll be fine. We’re both studying English so there aren’t that many job paths. I wanted to be a war correspondent but I find that idea kind of scary now, but something in journalism.”

Hattie: “I’ll probably carry on in academia.”

 

Khristan, A*A*A*, Imperial

“I’m going to do aeronautical engineering. I like London and I’ll save a lot of money because I literally live right next to Imperial. Tonight I’m celebrating/forgetting with a friend, well that’s how he put it so I’m guessing he didn’t do so well.”

Oliver, A*AC, Leeds

“I haven’t heard much about Leeds, but I like the course, I’m doing Japanese. I’m excited to be going to Japan in second year. I’ve heard there are raves, I might go to those and get fucked, keep that off the record though.”

Madi, A*AA, Oxford

“I’m going to do Medicine. I’ve heard Oxford is hard work but that probably suits me. I think it’s a very unique experience. In terms of nightlife, it’s probably better than Cambridge. My friend has a free house tonight so we’re gonna get wasted.”

Ted, Leeds

“I can’t work out my results but I definitely got at least two A*s. I’m doing marketing. There’s a live party life at Leeds and it’s good for my course. I’m doing a gap year in Australia first just working. Tonight I’m going Pryzm.”

William, A*A*A, Warwick

“I’m doing PPE, future prime minister? I think Warwick is cool but I’m so excited about the course. I’m celebrating with my family tonight, not getting drunk. Actually I need to go and call my mum.”

 

Hannah and Connor, both A*A*A and Bath

“I think for nightlife most people just go to Bristol. I think there are more clubs in Bristol and people do house stuff in Bath. Tonight we’ll go to Brixton and get wasted.”

Katie: “I’m not expecting Oxford to be as wild as Leeds or Manchester but I think it’ll be fun, they’re really enthusiastic with societies and stuff there. I think it’s going to be more pubs than clubs.”

Dylan, A*A*A, Oriel College Oxford

“I’m very, very happy with my results, I didn’t expect to make my offer but I did. I’m so excited to go to uni. I’ll probably go out clubbing tonight, somewhere cheap like Pryzm, hopefully there’s a good vibe, everyone’s going to be there, everyone’s going to be out. Not sure the nightlife in Oxford will be a main feature but I’m sure there’ll be a few people ready to go out and have a bit of fun, we’ll see.”

Liam, A*AB, King’s

“I’m going to study geography but I’m not that excited, I want to have my summer holiday. I’m staying in London for my girlfriend, she’s re-sitting her exams here.”

Max (Head Boy) A* A* A, Durham (Trevelyan College)

“I know that Durham has the worst rated club in Europe apparently, but Durham is only a 15 minute train journey from Newcastle which has some good clubs I hear and each college has their own bar so I’m sure it will be fine.”