The NUS finally issue statement condemning racism

Clarifying the situation, they said: ‘It’s obvious there is a desperate need for a Black Lives Matter movement’


NUS President Malia Bouattia has decided that enough is enough. After a lot of soul-searching, the NUS has discovered something called racism. Furthermore, we can exclusively reveal that the NUS thinks that racism is bad.

Last week, Black Lives Matter protesters lay down on the motorway by Heathrow airport, blocking traffic and causing an 8 mile tailback. In the nick of time, the NUS issued a statement that clarified the situation:

“We have reached a crisis point where we have been forced into taking direct action and it’s obvious there is a desperate need for a Black Lives Matter movement in the UK.”

Up and down the country, racists could be heard mumbling something about meddling kids, and how they would have otherwise gotten away with it. The revelation has made shockwaves across the UK, with many students finally waking up to the reality of the situation:

The NUS have done what we were all powerless to do: Condemn racism.

We now call on our brave NUS leaders to do something about the winter for being too cold, and the summer for being too hot.