I asked friends from all over the world what they think of British people

In the post-Brexit clusterfuck that is the UK, many Brits are looking further afield to start their lives – preferably somewhere it rains less, and where Boris Johnson isn’t trusted with power.

With this in mind, I spoke to some of my friends from outside the UK to get their tips on how us Brits can blend in more easily with the rest of the world. The thing that came out top? Perhaps we should re-think our definition of “a few drinks”…

Ceren, 25, Museum Professional, Turkey

What are we like abroad?

Brits abroad are so much fun! Their alcoholic genes break through once they are away from home, they feel much more chilled – maybe more how they wish they were born? They will probably surprise you with the amount of drinks they can stand until they get drunk. But eventually, they will get drunk. Brits abroad are fun loving, alcoholic, non-criminals. Big love here.

What are we most guilty of?

You’re probably mostly guilty of being extraordinarily polite. We interpret you as cold-ass beings but you’re just being proper. We don’t get it. I mean if something is bad, just say: “it’s bad”. Don’t “it’s-quite-okay” me!

How’s BoJo doing so far?

BoJo isn’t for blowjobs; cool. I just googled it, had no idea. Anyways, the guy looks unhealthy. And weird. Like a comedian who is getting a divorce.

Julia, 23, Poland

What do you think of British people?

I don’t think there’s anything special about Brits abroad? Maybe just that they drink quite a lot, mostly beer. And they think Poland is ridiculously cheap, which is kind of annoying for us.

Who is better behaved than us?

It doesn’t depend on the nationality, more on the type of person you are.

What do you think of BoJo?

Oh please. BoJo is terrible, he is as bad as Polish politicians (which means very very bad). Literally terrible.

Will, 23, Student, USA

What do you think of Brits when they come to the US?

Brits abroad go down one of two paths: either it’s a family holiday and then it’s just your standard group of people traveling around, or it’s a lads/lasses trip where everyone is just there to party and generally be a dick.

What are we guilty of?

As soon as the weather is three degrees warmer than it is in England, a lot of British guys seem to think it’s appropriate to wear tank tops or whip their shirts off everywhere. Lads trips are the worst, all egging each other on to whip out their dicks “for the bantz”, and people don’t seem to learn with age. I’ve seen groups of British men in their 50s staggering down the beach in Miami, barely able to stand on a Tuesday evening.

Who is better than us? How can we improve?

Pretty much anyone from a Nordic country, they tend to be pretty chill and respectful. Just keep your tops on and learn when is an acceptable time to get drunk and you’ll be on the right track.

Is Boris showing us up?

I thought it was kinda soft on his part to push for Brexit so hard and then not step up when he was called on to lead after it came through. On the other hand, Brexit did drop the pound low enough that now I can afford to come over and be an obnoxious American tourist in your country. You win some you lose some, I guess?

Laragh, 22, Student, Ireland

Do you like Brits abroad?

I’ve always liked the Brits when I go abroad, because they always seem to be up for a good laugh! But they’re very easy to spot. Is there some unwritten rule that says that no British girl can go out without heels and a skin tight dress on, plastered in fake tan? Same with the lads who wear equally skin tight jeans topped off with some sort of oversized, tent-like t-shirt. I feel ye don’t believe in casual wear.

What are we most guilty of?

Ignorance! Not to get too patriotic, but the amount of Brits I’ve met that still believe the Republic of Ireland is part of Britain and that we use the pound as currency.  I (kind of) understand not knowing about countries half way across the world, but we’re your neighbours! Not acknowledging our status as a country in our own right is just plain rude if you ask me.

Who is better liked than us?

The Irish of course. We’re only next door to you but everybody loves us! I’ve never heard an American claiming they were English because their Great Grandfather’s, Brother-in-laws’ Nephew’s dog was born in England? Nope. That dog was born in Ireland for sure!

Tim, 26, Student, Germany

What are Brits like abroad?

Most of the British people I’ve met abroad have been kind and helpful. They’re nearly always chatty, and are generally pretty open minded when meeting new people!

What do you think of Boris?

The only thing I know about Boris Johnson is that he’s one of the heads of the Brexit campaign, and that he compared the EU to Hitler and Napoleon. Not ideal.

How can we improve?

I’m not into stereotyped thinking really, so this is a hard question for me. It’s difficult to generalise, but one thing I find common to most British people is that they’re really bad at learning other languages because it’s so easy to speak English in other countries – most people have at least a basic understanding of it. So yeah, maybe try a bit harder on the language part?

Giulia, 21, Student, Italy

What do you think of Brits abroad?

I have been to Greece once and to Spain several times and I have to admit that if a person was drunk and pale, but not blonde, I would kinda assume he or she was British. This is very stereotypical and bad of me, I know! But also true. Generally speaking, I find Brits to be kind and serious people. In Italy we tend to be careful about what we wear, some people too much – I like the fact that the British just wear what they like. Even though sometimes it’s a bit odd.

What are we most guilty of?

Well I don’t know. Maybe the alcohol? I have seen lots of Brits getting wasted on cheap beer! The happy and tipsy Brits I have met during my holidays were not the same as the British people I have met at my university doing an exchange. Anyways who doesn’t relax and have an extra beer (or ten) on holiday?

What can we do to improve?

Maybe drink a little bit less or just try not to get wasted?

Merilyn, 22, Student, Barbados

What are we most guilty of?

Probably being naked on beaches where it isn’t allowed. I’d say nine times out of ten if theres someone nude on a beach it’s a Brit… not that I’m complaining, sometimes it’s not bad. Also, Barbados has a few night clubs where drinks are free once you pay cover – an alcoholic’s playground. As a result, I’ve spent many a night picking smashed Brits up off the floor. What happens in Barbados stays in Barbados – and my entire friend group when we trade stories the next day.

How do you spot us?

The largest demographic of our tourists are British, most likely due to our strong commonwealth ties. Personally, I love British tourists! They can be very polite and respectful, but can get quite rowdy at times. That being said, it’s pretty hard to find better behaved tourists than the Brits.

How’s BoJo representing us so far?

Honestly, I’m still wrapping my head around the Brexit and BoJo topics, so I guess time will tell how it’ll all change my opinion of British tourists. For now I’ll just continue to enjoy sharing my country with you guys – and getting a few laughs out of you as well.

Chris, 23, Student, New Zealand

What are we like?

Brits abroad come in all shapes and sizes, with backgrounds galore. The one thing you all seem to have in common is you know how to have a good time. You’re generally booze hounds, love to rack up travel stamps, are keen for anything, and above all love a good yarn. The Brits abroad are always guilty of knowing how to get rowdy. You can always bet on seeing a Brit who’s had a few to many drinkies deciding to get better acquainted with the pavement/beach/toilet bowl/floor of the bar. But, to be honest, it adds to the atmosphere.

Who is better behaved than us?

Us New Zealanders are generally in the same boat of misbehaviour with the Brits. But who ever said that being well behaved is the way forward? All in all, it’s the Brits’ “interesting” behaviour that keeps ’em unique and likeable. After so long of being the country of funny accents and having “cheeky” bevvy or 20, I feel like the only way for the Brits to get better is to keep doing what they do. Like they say, no good story ever started with a salad!

Is Boris terrible or nah?

He seems to be the butt of every joke. However, he seems to have become part and parcel with the political shit show that has arisen within the UK of late, and has joined the long, loooooooong list of things the Brits like to complain about, coming second only to the weather. That being said, never a dull moment with BoJo about.