You told us your funniest and most tragic sex ed stories

Remember the birds and the bees chat? You undoubtedly dreaded it with your parents, yet laughed the whole way through it in sex ed class. But for today’s generation, it’s less of a laughing matter, with recent reports criticising inadequate teaching on this important matter.

So in honour of this teenage right of passage, we decided to take a trip down memory lane.

Phoebe, 19, from Wellington

One time in our tutor session in year 10, our teacher decided to ask us all (a group of girls only) whether we had any questions regarding sex. No one was confident to put their hand up so instead she decided it was best for us all to write our questions down on a piece of paper anonymously and she would then read them out.

Of course we took advantage of the anonymity and made our questions as immature and embarrassing for her to answer as possible. Our poor teacher was clearly expecting some innocent questions such as “what age do most people lost their virginity”, but instead she was hit with questions including “does anal sex hurt?”, “do boys prefer girls with pubes or no pubes?” “Do people dye their pubes?” and she then felt she had to enlighten us on how she lost her virginity. I think after reading the first question she then realised what she had let herself in for.

George, 19, from Wellington

My favourite one was a guy in my year 9 sex ed class asking “why do you need a flavoured condom?” I laughed at the time. In hindsight, fair question mate.

Caitlin, 19, from Belfast

In my school Sex Ed class the school nurse put on a puppet show using sanitary pads starring “Polly the Practical Pad” (a pad complete with googly eyes and a mouth) who showed us how to use pads and other hygiene products.

We also watched a show with a rapping condom who rapped about STD’s and safe sex. It was basically West Side Story but with condoms and genitals as actual characters singing about sex.

Maddie, 19, from Exeter

I don’t remember a specific event but just recall hearing some of the questions people in my year had asked. One girl asked our teacher if cum was good for your skin and someone else genuinely looked at the word vagina and asked what a vag-eena was. How innocent we all were.

Hatty, 19, from Tunbridge Wells

I went to an all girls school, and in year 8 the Science teacher left the room for a minute and gave us permission to shout all words associated with sex (ie vagina, willy, winky, penis etc) at the top of our voices. My male form tutor in year 10 was very awkward when trying to discuss sex with my form of 29 girls and would blush and cringe when trying to approach the topic. So naturally we all asked him obvious questions which he had to answer.

Charlotte, 19, from Wellington

In my year 10 sex ed class we had to practice putting condoms on bananas. It didn’t start well when I was sent to the lunch hall to retrieve the bananas and had to explain to my male teacher why I wanted to skip the queue. Two minutes later and bright red, he finally let me in.

When it came to actually doing the deed, despite a demonstration from the nurse, I somehow managed to put the condom on upside down. To this day I don’t quite know how I failed so badly but rest assured, my friends still won’t let me live it down.

Charlie, 19, from Brighton

Sex ed didn’t and still doesn’t exist for me, so most of my knowledge has come from the Internet which isn’t exactly the best source of information…

I did have one class at school which was a group of about 20 guys who just giggled while the teacher spoke about “Mr Woodcock the wooden penis” that we then all had to take turns putting a condom on… Not the most fun experience.

Bertie, 19, from Chard

My mother’s version of sex education involved driving us to the bus stop, locking the doors so we couldn’t escape and announcing “right, let’s talk about sex.” If this wasn’t already horrific enough, she enjoyed comparing female genitalia to food – hot dog buns, ham sandwiches and bacon baps can never be looked at in the same way again.