Rum, portaloos and moshing: Embarrassing festival experiences 2016

Alcohol and lack of proper toilets seems to be the downfall of so many festival goers. The things we like to forget happened often also make the most memorable part of any festival weekend, so we asked people for their most embarrassing festival stories.

Poppy, Glastonbury

“I was watching Two Door Cinema Club at Glastonbury and I really needed to wee. Obviously the crowd is too big to leave and come back so I just decided to piss in a cup. I pulled my shorts and stuff to the side and started weeing. Not sure whether it was because I was so drunk or just because I’m an idiot but I ended up completely pissing all over myself and my shorts. I looked up in despair while this was happening and made eye contact with one of my (male) friends who then looked down (at me weeing) and then looked back up and with a face of pure horror said to me ‘you’re pissing on your own leg’. I spent the rest of the day covered in my own piss. The whole thing was very embarrassing but also quite funny, I was so drunk it was basically just water anyway.”

Balraj, Beachbreak Live

“It my first ever festival and so naturally it seemed like a good idea to drink a whole litre of Bacardi to myself whilst my other mates paced themselves. An hour into our pre-Chase & Status drink-up, I was obliterated so went to the loo and realised I had to throw up. I was faced by the contents of the portaloo, puked and then staggered to the performance. I did the usual, getting into a mosh pit and jumping around a lot from what I can remember. After the performance I ended up playing spin the bottle with strangers and one of them turns round to me and says ‘before we start, I have to applaud you for being in your boxers all day’. I was so drunk that I must’ve completely taken my shorts of entirely when I went for a piss earlier, and not put them back on”.

Alice, Reading

“My friend is renowned for eating something dodgy at every festival he goes to. So, when he came back from a hasty trip to the loos in the early hours of the morning with no trousers on we all wondered how bad the kebab he’d had earlier was. Assuming he hadn’t made it we still asked what had happened, turned out he made it to the loo but then vomited on his trousers. Not that that has stopped him eating dodgy looking meat at every festival we went to for years after the event.”

Pippa, Glastonbury

“I woke up at 6am on the Sunday morning feeling horrific. My friend who was in my tent just sort of patted me and told me I’d be fine and went back to sleep. So I got up in my pyjamas and walked through to the healing fields, and then proceeded to just dry retch whilst all the hippies looked on pityingly. They hadn’t even gone to bed yet and they were all just chilling out playing the guitar and drinking tea and I was desperately trying to be sick and bringing nothing up in the middle of the healing fields.”

Fiona, Leeds

“I went to the relentless stage alone one night cause my mate wasn’t feeling great, I’d had a few by this point and was having a great time dancing with randomers. I ended up deciding to go back to this guys tent but when trying to tackle the hill up to where he was camped I kept sliding back down. After many failed attempts to climb the hill a  group of lads formed a human chain to get me up to the top. Then later, as me and this guy were ‘doing the deed’, his friends kept trying to shine torches into the tent to sneak a peak, and one of them came crashing in. I woke up at 8am zipped into the sleeping bag with him and had to try to find my way back to my tent rather hungover and lost as hell.”