Things that will only make sense if you’re from Shrewsbury

Voted the tenth most desirable place to live in England, Shrewsbury’s not too shabby as hometowns go. Nowadays, this pretty little market town boasts a pretty fancy football stadium and its annual flower show attracts swarms of visitors every summer.

But what defines Shrewsbury is the more quirky characteristics that we have grown to love or at the very least begrudgingly accept.

You have a genuine fear of the Park keeper

“Yan” (at least that’s how I think you spell his name), an instiller of fear among college students, is our very own Polish park keeper on a mission. The Quarry simply wouldn’t be what it is without him whizzing around in his golf caddy with a scowl on his face.

There’s a distinct lack of taxis when you actually need them

Let’s be honest, this situation has reached a frankly unacceptable level. Since when did it become customary to have to book your taxi prior to leaving for pres on a night out?! What’s more, even when you can actually get a taxi within a reasonable time frame, they’ll have no idea where you’re going as they’re not from the local area- queue angry drunken directions.

Swarming to The Boat House the moment the sun comes out

For a humble riverside inn, The Boathouse makes a total killing when the sun makes one of its rare appearances. Famed for serving underage Shrewsbury School kids, their sprawling outside area makes for a pleasant pint drinking position.

Jumping off the Suspension Bridge

This is by no means a form of congratulations to those of you idiots who have dared to attempt this downright stupid ‘tradition’. Despite, the dangerous debris that lies just beneath the water’s surface this activity continues to be a rather unsavoury form of summer entertainment for The Boathouse’s punters.

Going to Efe’s post-Buttermarket

Tucked beneath the railway tracks, Effy’s may seem like an unassuming takeaway to a mere tourist, but to the town’s revellers it’s a hub of memories, of post booze filled night’s joy or simply a place of warmth whilst waiting an ungodly amount of time for one of Shrewsbury’s illusive taxis.

Dreamfields, the circle of trees, pine cones…

Peaceful spots, hidden from the eyes (and noses) of passersby, where one can really be at one with nature and her finest produce.

Shrewsbury’s very own Sandman 

Quite how he makes his money from reproducing the very same dog each and every week I’m not sure but the high street just wouldn’t be the same without him.

Darwin’s Gate

Ok, so Shrewsbury was Charles Darwin’s birthplace- which in itself is pretty cool, right?! But, was it really necessary to spend an extortionate amount of money on a rather unremarkable sculpture? I think not.

Regular invasions from Telford

You know the Telford lot are in town when scenes belonging on The Jeremy Kyle Show take place in front of your very eyes on a night out.

The ‘Butter bus’

Arguably a testament to the town, the free of charge Butter bus saves many from aching feet and a soberingly cold walk from the town centre to the town’s ‘favourite’/only mildly decent night club- The Butter Market. Complete with its very own awful anthem to get you in the mood for the  terrible tunes in store once inside the club.

Prime in town pre drinks spot= Monty’s 

From college days onward it becomes a well-known fact that up to a certain hour you’ll find the grand majority of your friends in Monty’s, drinking reasonably priced bevs in preparation for the over priced drinks at the B Market.

The Pug Man

Identifiable by his canine companions, this local celeb is apparently not a fan of his newfound fame. Known for scampering away fearfully should you try to pet his prized pups, we recommend admiring from afar.