An open letter to my cheating friend

You’re in a relationship, and you need to stop

We’ve known each other for a long enough time now. I would say we’re past that awkward ‘OMG this is my bae for life’ girl stage and we’re at the point where we can share a cubicle on a night out when we’re both wearing playsuits. So I also think we’re close enough for me to be able to say this:

Please stop cheating on your boyfriend.

The best part about girl code is that you know I’ll have your back regardless of what choices you make. That and we’ve both been through the same kind of stuff – relationships, arguments, jealousy. The only difference right now is that I’m single and you aren’t. I can understand why this would be difficult for anyone because we’re supposed to be oh-so young and carefree but if someone has made you happy for a long time, and you’re in a committed relationship, it’s pretty important to keep hold of it.

So when we’re on nights out, even when it’s just us and the girls, please don’t get offended if one of us stands in between you and an overly friendly guy. It’s alright to laugh it off now and then but honestly, it’s also awkward as shit when I see things going too far. No one wants to have to remind anyone of their relationship status, and it’s even worse when the ‘mate, you’re seeing someone’ eyebrow raise gets lost in the mood lighting of Bijoux.

I don’t know your boyfriend that well so if we’re both honest, we know I’d never mention anything to him. I’ll continue to smile and crack on when we meet him at the pub or whatever and nod in agreement when everyone sees you’re actually really well suited. The poor lad is just busy – we’ve all just graduated, it’s the most stressful time of our lives. You tell me about you both being in different places in your lives but I can tell you’re really proud of each other, too. During the week you’re a perfect match – it’s not worth risking because of a dodgy decision after too many trebles.

This letter isn’t my way of trying to say I’m judging you – you know far too much about me to ever see me as holier-than-anyone, let alone thou. What I am trying to say though is this: your actions when we’ve all been on the shots aren’t just making the squad cringe into their vodka sodas, it could land you with a bad rep. You’re probably the sweetest, most genuine lass I know and the last thing I want to see is you get a bad name because anyone else has reacted to you getting a little too bumpy-grindy with a stranger.

You’ve got to understand that even though, yes, this is largely coming from a pretty selfish place of not wanting to feel like I’m a secrets mule, my intentions are good. These things never, ever end well – especially when the guy you’re making all these god awful decisions with knows you’re with someone and still hasn’t taken the higher ground about it. I don’t want to see that little heart get any more hurt than it has to.

So, to sign off from this letter (in the hopes it doesn’t make you hate me), please please be more mindful and of course, careful with your choices. It’s my duty as the assigned bestie to be here if anything does come back to bite you – but wouldn’t it make both of our live easier if we just nipped all this “no, nothing happened” bullshit in the bud?

All my love (honestly),