I posted the world’s vaguest Craigslist ad and now I’m drowning in a sea of dicks

MISSED CONNECTION: A man with a face

I love reading Craigslist Missed Connections, OK? I wanna give a TED Talk about Craigslist Missed Connections the same way Kylie Jenner wants to give a TED Talk about chem trails.

When browsing them, though, I always wonder who the hell actually finds the person they’re looking for — their missed connection.

For the fuck of it, at the goading of my coworkers, I posted the world’s vaguest ad in the world to see which men would twist themselves into a lie, trying to convince me they were the one. Here’s the ad I posted:

Pretty fucking generic, right? Right away, the responses started rolling in.

I had this simple request:

This confident but total liar:

 This otherwise totally polite dude who just wants me to know that he “will please my needs, satisfy my cravings and fulfill my desires and fantasies…..”

Mr. E was so nice! Too bad I’m not looking to “trade pics” 🙁

This would have been nice if it wasn’t accompanied by a picture of a huge veiny dick:

Another LIAR in our midst:

My inbox is still flooded with the dick pics I couldn’t show here (don’t worry, I’m trying to let my boss allow me to post dongs, just hang on).

The lesson in this is…unclear. Men are silly? They think everyone wants their dick? They’re a bunch of liars? Idk, but it was fun.