There’s no shame in being a ‘crazy cat lady’
Tell him I’ve discovered the power of the pussy
At this point we’re all well aware of the running joke among teenage girls where they claim in times of desperation to give up all hope on relationships, love and romance and instead vow to become a cat lady instead. This joke about abandoning people entirely simply to instead seek friendship amongst felines stems from this stereotype we all have in mind about a woman that never found love or success in life, so instead in an act of desperation surrounded herself with companions that will give her affection (and potentially devour her corpse when she’s gone). For obvious reasons this is seen as being a failure in almost every aspect of life, hence being the butt of today’s jokes, but this is something that needs to stop and instead be taken under serious consideration as a lifestyle choice.
I am a crazy cat lady already. I’m not ashamed. This is why.
Firstly, cats are nowhere as annoying as actual people are. You don’t have to help them move house, listen to drunk phone calls, go to their cousin’s wedding or any of these other responsibilities that come with human friendships. With cats you give them food and they give you undying eternal love and gratitude, a much simpler alternative to actual human contact that is overall much more rewarding. In addition to this, cats aren’t clingy pets by any means, when they want attention they let you know in a straightforward manner and then they can be left to their own devices. If you’ve ever had a clingy friend that would often hit you up with such a stream of text messages that your phone freezes, because they accidentally liked their ex’s Instagram post from 47 weeks ago in the midst of their weekly stalk to just “check how they’re doing” then you can already start to see how this is an improvement.
Now you’ve already started mentally establishing your gang of cougar colleagues things are probably starting to look up, however there is a flaw – they are by no means the alternative for a significant other. This will likely leave a void that cats simply cannot compensate for, but don’t lose hope just yet. Without a significant other you may not be able to go out on a candlelight dinner for two, but why would you want to when instead you can stay home and eat twice as much food on your own without having someone there to judge you or having to put in the painstaking hours’ worth of prep that a date requires? Plus with all this newfound free-time and money saved you can instead invest it on yourself, focusing on your career, self-love and your Amazon wish list rather than just exchanging your bundle of insecurities for somebody else’s.
It is strange however when the stereotype of a cat lady is picked apart at its core for being considered to be a lonely failure. Why is it that the main defining characteristic of a cat lady is ultimately loneliness? Why is there no male alternative with as much notoriety behind it present in our society? Well this is likely attributed to the traditional role of a woman – as a mother and a wife, and we cast off those who don’t aspire to such things as being bitter, lonely, old women. As Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie said;
“Because I am female, I am expected to aspire to marriage. I am expected to make my life choices always keeping in mind that marriage is the most important. Now marriage can be a source of joy and love and mutual support but why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage and we don’t teach boys the same?”
This is definitely something to take into consideration with the cat lady stereotype. I believe that it is in desperate need of rebranding. Instead of condemning it, we should learn to celebrate it, and the level of independence and positives that come with it. Get off Tinder and onto the Blue Cross, put yourself first and embrace the new wave of cat lady lifestyle that waits ahead.