Emma Watson is in a new Beauty and the Beast film and it’s not a cartoon

If Lumiere’s not a candlestick what’s the point

Surely, you remember Beauty and the Beast? Not the plot, because that is beside the point; nor when it came out, or the names of most of its characters. But you remember its best moment. In fact, you can probably still recite its best moment off by heart; possibly even, passably, in tune. My brother and I begged for a special version of this on video because it included a sing-a-long version after the film was over.

While fetishising Disney is cutesy and a bit weird, this is a good song and I defy you to argue otherwise.

Which is why it’s mystifying that Disney is remaking what was actually otherwise quite a boring film – honestly, can you remember the plot? – and populating it with real-life characters (specifically, Emma Watson as the eponymous Beauty) rather than cartoons. Which presumably means there will be no Lumiere and no song. Which was the only memorable bit.

Watch the trailer below and tell me that you wouldn’t rather watch anything else.