In defence of hamsters: The greatest pet in the world
Stop hating on Marvin the royal hamster
It was announced this week that Prince George and Princess Charlotte have acquired their first pet: a hamster called Marvin.
Shock and confusion rippled through posh mum’s mags as to why the royals would chose a rodent for a new family pet. Vanity Fair described the hamster as a “surprising choice of animal”.
But in the finite span of ordinary household pets, a hamster doesn’t seem that “surprising”. During a visit to Pets At Home you can either force your mum to get a rabbit, guinea pig, gerbil, rat, hamster, fish, or a rogue pet like a degu, chinchilla, or an orphaned hare. Out of this list of possible pets for a one and two year old, a hamster doesn’t seem surprising at all. What were people expecting them to have as a first pet? An Alsatian?
There is absolutely nothing wrong with owning a pet hamster. Firstly hamsters are already notoriously cute – but a royal hamster? Images instantly spring to mind of Marvin with his very own crown and sceptre. They become even more loveable the chubbier they get, they fit in your hand and are seriously photogenic.
Hamsters should rank in the wonders of the world of the animal kingdom. Their cheek storage pouches are beyond impressive. They are like a hamster Houdini. You think a whole apple and some hamster food would max them out, but some how they still manage to find room for a grape. Can a dog do that? I didn’t think so.
Hammys also make great companions at times of need. If you work late, like in a club or bar, and don’t get in until an unsociable hour, a hamster will always be awake to greet you. They run up to the handle bars, ready for a cuddle and chat about how much of a dick your boss is, or to hear about how much you made in tips that night. Or, if you’re doing an all nighter before your exam or hand in, a hamster is the loyal companion you need to motivate you through the night. They’re running on their wheel like you’re running out of time. They’re that trainer pushing you along from sunset to sunrise.
Regarding the latest addition to the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge’s household, Vanity Fair sarcastically asked: “What is the correct protocol when a commoner meets a royal hamster?” You would clearly curtsey and call him Lord Marvin of Cambridge. Duh.