Stop trying to explain football to women

We either know already, or we don’t care

So, Leicester won the Premier League. Everyone was shocked, because it was highly unlikely they were going to win. I think I read somewhere that the odds of them winning were 5000-1. That’s all I know about it, and frankly, I don’t care to learn any more.

Men who like football, however, seem to have a different impression. Since the dawn of football, male fans have made it their goal (see what I did there) to try and educate (sorry, patronise) women about the subject as much as possible.


Body shaming women as well as patronising them. Nice.


This post actually is ridiculous on so many levels. Not only are they patronising women by assuming we know nothing about football, but it’s like they have to explain it to us in a way we’ll understand: by being bitchy about another woman. So not only are you insinuating that none of us understand football, but that we also body shame other women, and that women of Gemma Collins’ size deserve it. Silly me, clearly women spend all their time exercising, eating less, and shopping for products that will make men respect us.



Absolutely SHOCKING

Another hilarious Sport Bible post I’ve seen is this one pictured above, that says “a woman who can do both”. OMG. I mean, let me tell you, I almost choked on my Bic “For Her” gel pen when I saw this. An actual real live woman who can dress up nicely AND participate in muddy sport? Wow. What a time to be alive. It’s actually hilarious how men think that we just don’t exist in the world of sport.

Anyway, back to the main point of this article. Let’s just get one thing straight here. Whether it’s explaining the offside rule, or telling us how unlikely it was that Leicester was going to win: WE DON’T CARE. We literally give zero shits about your opinion, unless we’ve asked for it. Your condescending explanations, surprisingly, aren’t needed. Because here’s the thing: some women actually like football.

I know, it’s shocking. But I know women who genuinely follow football. They know what the offside rule is, they knew Jamie Vardy was having a party. They love it. So they don’t need your explanation because, whoopsie, they already knew.

Then there’s the rest of us – the people who don’t follow football. And do  you know why we don’t follow football? Because we don’t care. So, whoopsie again, your explanation is still completely irrelevant to us.

Maybe if people actually started to give women’s football the time of day, or even if they just stopped completely patronising us every time there’s a match on, more women might get involved in this crazy world of footy banter. But for now, just shut up. Explain things to us when we actually ask for an explanation, because otherwise you may as well just patronisingly ramble at a brick wall.