Everything you should stop saying to Geordies

Newcastle is the best city in the northeast, if not in England. Where else in this fine country can you get three trebles for a fiver? That being said, a most people have stereotypes set in their minds about what Geordie people are like – and they’re not all true.

Here are some things you should probably stop saying to us.

‘Why aye man!’

Why is this the first thing anyone says to me when I say I’m from Newcastle? I don’t get it.

About 90 per cent of people I meet have this response. I’m often just stood there not knowing what to say. And your pronunciation is, more often than not, wrong.

‘Do you just not feel the cold?’

Of course I do, I just don’t want my massive parka to spoil my outfit. The Geordie dedication to looking good is so real that we’ll happily freeze in town on a night out – enough vodka and you stop feeling the cold anyway.

Plus we probably save loads of money because we don’t have to pay for the cloakroom.

‘Do you know (insert Geordie Shore cast member)?’

Surprisingly, Newcastle is a bigger place than you think. Not everyone knows someone from the show (which, by the way, is not the most accurate representation of Geordies).

Besides, half of them aren’t even from Newcastle anyway.

‘Your football team’s a bit crap, isn’t it?’

Unfortunately so. We are aware of this, you don’t need to remind us.

‘Geordies are so mad’

I’m really not that mad. I’m just like you – I leave work to the last minute, I eat too many chicken nuggets. Just because I don’t shop at Waitrose – they’re all in Jesmond – doesn’t mean I’m mental.

‘Are you Irish/Scottish/Welsh?’

Geordies actually get this quite a lot. I imagine it’s because we talk so fast that sometimes individual words are hard to catch. But let’s be honest, it’s quite easy to spot a Geordie accent.

‘You guys really love Greggs, don’t you?’

Yes. Move on.