Why I’m giving up wearing trainers

The rise of the trainer is seemingly unstoppable. Since the turn of the century the trainer, crepe, or kick, has grown from strength to strength.

Rewind 20 years and you wouldn’t find your mum rocking those Nike Free Runs on her Tesco run. Trainers were once worn exclusively by athletes and neeks; now, a pair is a staple in anyone’s wardrobe. They’re ubiquitous, yet still cool.

Yet, as of April 2016, I can safely say I am so done with trainers. Victoria Beckham aka Queen of Fashion Transformation once asserted that she “couldn’t concentrate in flats”. From hereon in, I intend to give up the comfort of crepes – and here’s why.

All the basics be jumping on that trainer hype

My main problem with trainers is the fact that every Tom, Dick and Harry now thinks they’re the Yeezus of the trainer world. As with any trend, the trainer kind of loses its appeal when it’s literally everywhere.

Take, for example, the Adidas Superstar. About two years ago if you had a pair you were considered ahead of the game, someone who would be worthy of a #crepecity or #dailystreet shout out on Instagram.

Hell, you yourself would be hashtagging those babies with #chicksinkicks or #basementapproved. Post a pic of your Superstars now though and you’re just another sheep in a field of black and white-striped bleating animals.

They’re a nightmare to maintain

You’ve just spent £125 on a pair of Reebok Instapumps in Size. You’re not done spending there though. You want to test them out on a big night, somewhere where people will clock them and give you the eye saying they know you’re in the know. You decide Fabric shall be the place.

You have two options: either you fork out another £15 on shoe care products to protect your shiny babies, or you run the risk of them being trampled on and sliding from a 10/10 condition to a measly 4/10. Beware, a 4/10 on wavey kicks is only going to get you max £45 on the resale.

They make every outfit look like you’re off for a 5k run

People don’t dress smart any more. Work, drinks, grandma’s for a Sunday roast – everyone is wearing the beastly things.

What happened to sprucing up and looking polished? No matter how glamorous your outfit is, teaming it with a pair of your newest crepes and you have surrendered once again to “athleisure” or haute sportswear.

They literally stink

You wear them pretty much all day everyday, come rain or shine. That’s right, RAIN or shine. They’re your go to shoe if you’re going to a festival or going for a walk. It doesn’t take much logic then to work out that they’re your most unhygienic,  sweaty foot attire.

Cleaning them quickly with a baby wipe doesn’t exactly get rid of the unbearable stench which they exude. Yet you get away with it, because who wants a shocking white pair of classic Vans?

“Proper” shoes are timeless

As a founding member of the Instagram kicks community, every couple of months or so you feel that familiar itch – that irresistible desire to purchase the next “in” trainer. On the other hand, by the time the trainers are released, they invariably will not be available in your size or preferred colourway.

After a few years this becomes not only unaffordable but incredibly tiresome. That’s where the black leather ankle boot comes in. Smart, sassy and simple, this boot can be worn all year round and will never look old-fashioned.

Thus, you see, the end of the train reign is nigh. It has run its own course, come to the end of the road. Killed by the very thing that made it so popular in the first place – the fact it can be worn by all.